This Is What A Breakup Really Means, Because It’s Not All Snot And Tears

Losing them means losing sleep, because you’re not used to having the entire bed to yourself.

Losing them means laughing hard at a joke that only they would understand and then remembering that you can’t text them about it, that you need to keep your distance.

Losing them means deleting your couple’s photos from Facebook and Instagram, even though that requires you to actually go through those photos and relive the memories all over again.

Losing them means hating all of the songs and the shows that you used to love, because they remind you of that person.

Losing them means thinking about them all the damn time but forcing yourself to stop mentioning them, because you don’t want your friends to feel bad for you.

Losing them means putting away the necklaces and rings that they gave you, because you feel like you’re not allowed to wear them anymore — but you’re still too attached to them to actually throw them away.

Losing them means erasing the emoji from next to their name and changing your phone background.

Losing them means jumping when your phone chimes and then realizing that it’s a text from someone you couldn’t care less about.

Losing them means forgetting to shower for days, because you feel like there isn’t any reason to leave the house.

Losing them means deciding whether to stay friends with them on social media and torture yourself — or to delete them and admit to the world that you couldn’t handle seeing them move on.

Losing them means making a whole new plan for your future, because you weren’t prepared to live life without them.

Losing them means resisting the urge to check up on them, to ask about them, to see if they’ve posted any pictures with someone new for you to get jealous over.

Losing them means drinking to forget — and then struggling not to drunk text them.

Losing them means trying to explain the breakup to your parents, even though you’re not exactly sure what went wrong yourself.

Losing them means reliving the breakup every time you run into an old friend that asks about them, because they didn’t realize that you two separated.

Losing them means hesitating when someone else hits on you, because you feel wrong for flirting — but then you remember that you’re single now, that you can flirt with anyone that you want, that you’re free to get your heart broken by someone new.

Losing them means hating everything in your wardrobe, because every piece of clothing reminds you of a memory you shared with them.

Losing them means writing out texts and deleting texts, because you know you shouldn’t contact them and, besides, you have no idea what the right thing to say would be anyway.

Losing them means waking up each morning, assuming you’re still together, until reality hits and you remember why your pillow is stained with tears.

Losing them means forcing yourself to dress up and go out with your friends, even though all you want to do is stay in your pajamas and lock all the doors.

Losing them means losing little bits of yourself.

But losing them also means having the chance to change your fate. To create the type of life that you truly deserve. To find a new path, a path that’s even better than the one you trailed off from.