A Brief History Of Missing You

You do not understand that with every breath I take, I wish not to take another breath. You do not know that every second without you hurts more than a ton of bricks being dropped on my weak body. You cannot possibly imagine how weak my heart beats now that you are not with me. Do you know that I wish I didn’t have to feel anything anymore? Do you know how hard it is for me to admit the three little words I miss you? And part of me is still on hands and knees begging you to come back to me; begging this cruel world to give back to me the girl that I loved more than I had ever loved before. But I know deep down I deserve better than the unhealthy abusive cycle you put me through. I know that no matter how much I love you that you never really loved me. I know that I am worthy of more than this… no matter how much I may miss you; my mental and emotional stability does not deserve this. But no this is not a hateful cruel message to explain to you in all the ways I hate you for leaving me after consecutive promises of never leaving my side and that you were “different” from the rest. Now here I lay down the words written in every tear I weep while my heart breaks because as much as you treated me like I wasn’t worth anything I still miss you and my love for you is real! Oh isn’t that dreadful? That I fell in love with a beauty and she thought she was the beast. But no my darling you are so much more than you think you are if only you didn’t play into the dark role.