This Is How To Look Back On Love

When I look back at our past love story I feel like it was a lifetime ago;

I was a different person,

I hope you were too.

I know I have grown into someone who is strong, someone who is independent all on her own;

Someone who isn’t afraid of change,

Someone who is willing to allow people in,

Someone who knows the inside of themselves and isn’t afraid to share it with those she holds dear.

I hope you are too.

I hope you are someone who has grown into a softer person;

A forgiving person.

I hope you have become someone who holds love in their heart;

Someone who has a clear mind.

Because even after all this time I still wish the best for you.

I hope the best for you.

I can’t imagine going back to the people we were;

The people who were lonely,

The people who were bitter,

The people who were just so young and naive.

We were so naive to think we were doing so good.

Were we even doing good?

I know some parts were good.

Some parts that were hidden beneath the anger,

Beneath the deception,

Hidden beneath all of that,

I’m sure somewhere in there was at least friendship.

I am not so sure anymore if it was in fact love.

A part of me hopes we didn’t waste years on each other out of being complacent,

each of us being placeholders for other people.

Maybe that’s all we ever were supposed to be,

Two people on the road to healing,

Hurting each other along the way,

To make room in our hearts to allow some sort of everlasting love to crack us open,

to help us heal.

So we could finally be able to experience it.

After so much hurt,

After so much aching,

After so much anger,

Finally

To let real, everlasting love in.