Step 1

Understand that your engagement is over. You’ve packed up everything you own into your car. You and your ex-fiancé go to the leasing office to sign your name off of it. You’ll make small talk with him because ultimately this was your decision and silence is more uncomfortable. The leasing coordinator will ask you why you are moving out.

“Because we don’t want to live together anymore.”, You answer. You’re not ready to be completely honest with her or anyone else yet.

Step 2

Before you leave the leasing office the coordinator informs you that there is a package for you that you have to sign for. Your ex-fiancé holds the package for you while you sign because it’s bulky and he’s still a gentleman to you after everything. You both walk towards your car and realize what’s in the box. You saved for months to buy this perfect dress. You called multiple bridal shops and drove 8 hours round trip to try on a sample size. Now it’s here, but it’s too late.

Step 3

You put the dress in the trunk of your car, say goodbye to him and drive to California.

Step 4

Once you’ve reached your destination, you will go online and look consider sites like eBay and Craigslist to sell your dress. You will pull up a stock photo and determine the right pricing. You decide not to post it. You will post it later. You canceled the venue and informed your family, this part can wait.

Step 5

Days, weeks, months go by. It’s still in the trunk of your car- never worn, still packaged up. You don’t have to sell it yet. You’re not ready. You’ve made progress to move on but it doesn’t have to be done within any time frame. Healing doesn’t have a schedule. You’re not a failure because you’re not happy yet.

Step 6

Give yourself permission to be sad. One day you will be ready to put that dream aside but for now, it’s okay to feel and not be ready.