24 Thoughts Every Arachnophobe Has Daily
By Johanna Mort
1. “Today is going to be a good day.”
2. “OH GOD WHAT WAS THAT.”
3. “We’re fine. It was just a piece of lint blowing in the breeze.”
4. “WAIT, WAS IT?”
5. “Yeah, it was. I’m fine. I’m fine.”
6. “I’m never going to Australia ever.”
7. “People who have tarantulas as pets must secretly be serial killers. It’s the only explanation.”
8. “DEAR LORD, THERE’S A SPIDER ON MY BED.”
9. “Calm down. Calm down. Go find your roommate.”
10. “No no no! Why are they are work??”
11. “You’re a big kid. You can get rid of a tiny little devil.”
12. “NO NO NO NO NO NO NO WHERE DID IT GO.”
13. “I’M GOING TO HAVE TO MOVE.”
14. *Runs outside, considers burning house down
15. “I got this. I’ll find it. What’s the worst that can happen?”
16. “This is how I die.”
17. “AHHH THERE IT IS.”
18. “WHEN DID IT GET SO BIG?”
19. “I HATE EVERYTHING.”
20. “OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD.”
21. *takes care of spider
22. “That wasn’t so bad.”
23. “IS IT STILL MOVING?”
24. “I’ll never sleep well ever again.”