A Break From Searching


I have spent the better part of my adult life searching.

I’ve been searching for the person who would complete my puzzle, for the fairy tale white knight who would ride in and be my Prince Charming, for the soul that would merge with mine for eternity. But so far, despite my best efforts, all I have found were broken people who lacked the desire to heal, unambitious people who lacked the drive to succeed, guys who chronically used and never have back, or individuals who just didn’t ignite the flames and passion within me that were needed to create a lasting bond.

The thing about searching, especially for someone like myself whom has a knack for finding the wrong men or chasing after the ones I know, deep down, I can never have, is that it is exhausting. Tiring. And it is bound to leave you wounded, empty, defeated, or all the above. Chasing after something as elusive as a soul mate will leave you powerless because it’s something that can’t be arranged or forced. It, like most of the best things in life, happens on its own timing and, often, when and where you least expect.

So on this road we call life, I’m taking a break to sit on a bench alongside the road. To wait, for now at least. To allow life to take its course and bring me my prince. For my soul to find its mate by chance. To simply rest for the endless Easter egg hunt we call dating. Not forever, nor long enough to become complacent. But, hopefully, for enough time for life and love to reveal their mysteries to my heart and soul.

And, if I’m lucky, just long enough for the door that’ll lead me to my forever person to crack open.