A Day-By-Day Breakdown Of How I Screwed Up My Diet This Week

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Monday

Mondays a tough day. I know it’s tough for everyone but I feel like for me specifically it can get a little rough. It’s going to be long week. I know I said I would start my diet today, but Mondays are hard enough as it is. It won’t kill me if I have that extra muffin.

Tuesday

Okay. Tuesday. Here we go! Gonna stick with that diet this time. Wow. I can’t believe it’s only Tuesday. It feels like it should be at least Thursday. Ugh, is this week ever gonna end???

Okay, still going strong, it’s 12 and I haven’t had any carbs at all. Oh no, I totally forgot! I still have pasta leftovers from that Italian place I went to Saturday. Oh god. How long do left overs last? Well I can’t just let it go to waste? Maybe I can give it to that hobo that lives on my block? God, Valaniece. Listen to yourself. You can’t just give a hobo your leftovers, that’s so insulting.

You know what, I’m just going to throw it away. I can live without it.

*Eats carbs*

Tomorrow is a new day.

Wednesday

Woo! It’s hump day! I can’t just neglect hump day. I gotta celebrate getting half
way through the week. Just a small treat. I think a small treat is in order. I earned it. Just a little something. I do have that pint of Ben and Jerry’s that I left in my freezer. I’ll have one serving of that. One serving won’t kill me, it’s only like 300 calories.

*Finishes pint of ice cream*

Jesus Christ I hate myself.

Thursday

Alright, there is no excuse for Thursday.

Friday

Finally, it’s Friday. It’s the end of the week, and I did so good with my diet yesterday! I think I lost like three pounds at least. I definitely earned this whole pie of pizza. I’m going to watch The Tonight Show and enjoy my pizza. Oh god, why’d they have to have Margot Robbie on the show? Now I hate myself for getting an entire pie of pizza for myself. I wonder if Margot Robbie eats full pies of pizza by herself?

Well, I already spent my money. I’ll just run it off tomorrow.

Saturday

Haha, remember when I said I’d run it off today? Yeah, me neither. What was I thinking? It’s Saturday, I’m not going to torture myself on Saturday. Well, I know yesterday was technically my cheat day, but Saturday is a special day. It’s an island of relaxation because I had Friday night off and I get tomorrow off. There is no day quite like it. I’m going to Coldstone. It’s 10 a.m. and I’m going to cold stone because I earned it.

Sunday

I promise I’m going to start my diet… tomorrow