A Rekt Former McDonald’s Employee Talks About Why The Clown Is So Cheap

The following is being republished without edit and with the express permission of reddit user An_undeniable_truth. Also, he asked me to say “rekt” in the title as a term of use. Found under r/mildlyinteresting.

Former mcployee here.

This is all thoughts that happened between 8PM and 4AM five nights a week. But from my 2.5 high school to college summers of mcployment, I’ve had a lot of time to consider the philosophy of why mcdoogles pays people so little, and why they seem so indifferent to employee satisfaction.

It starts with who they hire.

Mcdingles is highly open minded to who they hire. In my 2 years I probably worked with over 100 different other employees. Now mind you this is New England, and minimum wage is almost nine bucks so we were already starting off pretty high on the hog.

What I mean by open minded is Mcdonlads will hire the people that other places wont.

If you’re now deeply lamenting your lion and filagree neck tattoo and hockey puck plugs from your stay at the rapidly dying hardcore scene. Madonnas would be happy to have you flip some burgs.

If you have a severe learning disabilty or mental handicap? You can flip these burgs just fine.

If you have a felony, or several felonies. Or a rap sheet that has it’s own three ring binder. Mcdonalds would be happy to have you flip some burgs.

Trailer trash couple behind on your bills? Here. Hold onto this spatula.

First job? Get to flippin.

If you’re a fat high school drop out named tina with a giant boyfriend who loiters in the lobby for an hour around the end of your shift and pretty serious prescription pill habit, then you’d better fuckin’ strap on that apron because mack Dee’s wants you. To flip some muthafuckin’ burgs.

and what I mean by that, is mcdonalds takes in the people who can’t and won’t get hired anywhere else, or need money and uses their desperation to pay them the absolute bottom dollar. For some people mcdonalds was really only a step up from sucking dick for coke. People used to drive half an hour to work 12 hour shifts at my store on the regular and spend their entire shift grinding their teeth and dropping nuggets.

They then make sure that employee job satisfaction is incredibly low, so turnover is like a revolving door. At first I thought it was an accident. Then I began to realize how clever it was. I was training new high school kids and fine young drug addicts wrist technique and the advanced thermodynamics of mechanically separated beef every other week. The first of which I trained six days after I started there.

Which brings me to my point about how easy the job is. They want you to constantly feel like you could be replaced. It keeps you from acting up. It keeps you from asking for more money. And it keeps you from organizing.

Because it would be extremely easy to replace us all with robots, they just don’t.

and here’s where I move from real life experience to speculation.

I think they do it. Because robots are expensive to replace. Robots have a high start up cost, and maintenance requirements and expensive parts to replace when they break.

When people break, you can hire new ones.

When people get sick you can tell them to come in anyway.

There’s no $80 an hour mechanic to call when the ketchup nozzle on the condimator 5000 breaks. But when my arm snaps after falling down the stairs at my house, there’s a nice boy with MS13 face tattoos to take my place squeezing ketchup three days later. And he’ll work for 8.73 with a smile on his face.

Mackas is a well oiled machine, and nothing there is on accident.

I’m fucking certain that $15.00 is absolutely possible and still profitable. But it would upset the minimum wage and misery system.

Edit: I appreciate all the attention and gold guys. But like. Am I at legal risk here?

Edit: found my nametag