A Gift Guide For Your Boyfriend’s Hard-To-Please Parents

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Are you spending the first ever Christmas with your SO’s family? Are you not spending it with them, but long to impress them by making the effort to send them a holiday gift? Are they super high maintenance and you’re afraid that pretty much anything you get them will be horribly misinterpreted? Look no further, because you cannot go wrong with these gifts.

1. A thoughtful coffee mug.

You’re going to get them a coffee mug — the world’s most innocuous gift — but you know that they are not just any caffeine-swilling peasant, and they like the finer things in life. So you’re getting them this elegant mug with the first lines of great literature written all over it.

2. A Kindle.

The ultimate in Serious Adult-pleasing fare, the Kindle says “I know that you read, I also enjoy reading, why don’t you do it in a convenient way?” as well as “I have a decent amount of disposable income.” If you can afford it, do it.

3. Meet The Parents

Hahaha, get it!? What a great icebreaker!!! Let this distract you from the fact that I make love to your child.

4. Mason jars filled with fancy sweets.

Step 1: Acquire fancy-looking mason jars.

Step 2: Fill with fancy candies that you get from some classy chocolate or candy shop, a different kind for each jar.

Step 3: Decorate mason jars with nice ribbon, and put them in a box or basket.

Voila, now they have candy, sweet-ass mason jars that they can use for other things afterwards, and an inoffensive gift from their potential in-law.

5. A Starbucks gift card.

There is no gift that has less subtext and is more universally useful than a Starbucks gift card. No matter who you are, where you come from, or how protective you are over your son — you love a gift card to the Bux.

6. Mastering The Art Of French Cooking

Everyone loves Julia Child, and unless one of the parents is an already-extraordinary cook who would take offense to this suggestion that they haven’t already mastered French cooking, it’s a cute, innocent gift.

7. Julie & Julia

Or, if they hate reading, this has a similar effect!

8. Flowers.

If all else fails, get them flowers. Not a soul alive can complain about flowers, and unless they are dipped in blood, no one can assume the worst in them. Flowers are a safe choice, for even the most terrifying parent figure.

image – Amazon