A Letter To My Tired Heart (I’m Sorry)


Dear Heart,

I have a confession. You have been my guiding light through the past 28 years, helping me navigate some of life’s biggest challenges. But, tonight, we are facing one of our most difficult moments. You see, I haven’t been honest with you lately…

I’ve lied to you over and over again. Hundreds of times, I’ve lied. And, it seems that no matter the scope, each one left you more bruised than the next. I convinced myself that the pain you were feeling wasn’t that bad. It could be worse.

By lying to you, I thought I was protecting you.

That’s the thing about lying, though. It didn’t protect you from anything. Instead, it stopped you from making informed choices. Then, when those choices led to pain, you were blindsided. You weren’t broken by the actions of others. No – you were broken because of my well-intentioned transgression.

You’ve forgiven me though, remaining open to every new adventure. While dreams have changed, loves have ended, and memories have faded, you have retained your natural curiosity about what the next page in our story holds. You haven’t hardened as you’ve followed me through this turbulent journey. That’s probably because, unlike me, you have known all along what we were searching for.

While I was searching for a storybook romance, you have been searching for this girl we once knew.

Sweet and kind, smart and driven – she got lost somewhere along the way. That girl understood that you were a compass that would help her find true north. That girl understood that being honest with you would help her build a strong character. And, through listening to you, that girl understood that everything else would fall into place at the right moment.

Happiness wasn’t to be found in another person. Instead, true happiness derives itself from a healthy relationship with you.

And, the hardest truth of all is admitting that the girl we lost used to be me. I lost myself when I tried to force fate to happen on a time table. When I couldn’t fit life’s variables into my perfect roadmap of a five-year plan, I tried to convince you we weren’t lost. I tried to convince you everything was normal and we were on the right track. But, that has led us down a sad path.

So, today, I’m letting you become the guide again. I recognize now, that happiness with another can only endure if I am true to you and the direction in which you lead me.

Heart, I promise to listen to you. I promise to tell you the truth about what is happening. While it may hurt, I promise it will heal the wounds you’ve suffered. And, after you’ve had that time to heal, I promise we will be stronger. I promise we will be happy.