A List Of Things I’ve Experienced While On These Drugs


First off, here is my parental advisory statement:

“I wouldn’t recommend sex, drugs, or insanity for everyone, but they’ve always worked for me.” – Hunter S. Thompson

I haven’t done a lot of different drugs in my lifetime so far, but I have done a “not so healthy” handful.

While drugs are in fact bad for your body and can cause death, I choose to do them anyway.

Mostly, I was curious.

As for the rest, because fuck it.

So here are my first accounts of tripping on drugs and why (for myself) I think they are totally incredible.

1. Mushhrooms

This was the first trip I had ever taken on psychedelics. I was a little drunk and a lot young and stupid. I ate a half cut and sat and waited with all my other young and stupid friends.

I used to be a complete control freak when I was younger (just kidding, I still am).

Lack of control of your own body was something I was not prepared to experience.

When the drugs finally kicked in, all hell broke loose.

Everyone went their separate ways all over our dorm building and I was alone.

I remember wanting a Q-tip to wipe my eyes.

I felt like a child just learning simple motor skills.

I ended up on the floor with Q-tips scattered all over the floor and counter.

All I could do is laugh and how crazy it was to not be able to function properly.

I finally got was able to wipe my eyes only before seeing for the first time how mesmerizing dilated pupils are.

I was so eager to get a closer look, that I slammed my face against the mirror.

I have dark brown eyes and all you could see was a sliver of brown around a pool of black.

I felt like I could see into my soul. It was amazing.

Patterns creeped up and down the walls, words spun clockwise then counter-clockwise.

My life had become a tripping shpongle Youtube video.

I didn’t do anything cool. In fact, I stayed in one room almost the entire time.

However, I’ll never forget the first time feeling like I was a kid again.

This eerie calm that you experienced being in this cozy bubble called ‘shrooms.

Everything was beautiful, new, like a child experiencing something for the first time.

2. Ecstasy

Shortly after tripping on ‘shrooms for my first time, I got more interested in different altered states.

I decided that my next drug endeavor would be rolling on ecstasy.

I took this little red pill that had a raised gun pattern on the front of it.

Like with ‘shrooms, I was not prepared for what I was about to experience.

I could feel my smile slowly getting bigger and bigger until I was cheesing so hard my cheeks hurt.

I was bouncing off the walls with excitement.

I literally wanted to run a marathon, right then and there.

No worries, no cares, no anxiety. (I suffer from anxiety so this was an amazing feeling.)

I stopped to talk to every single person I came in contact with and talked their ear off for about a solid 10 minutes until there was no doubt in their minds that I was on drugs and promptly left for a new victim to hear how fast I could talk.

My whole body felt like heaven and everything I touched felt like the best thing I had ever laid hands on.

I colored and rolled around every inch of my bed (which wasn’t very hard since I had a twin).

I had the best night of my life.

Until the next day when all my serotonin was depleted and I hated everyone.

3. LSD

It was summer. I was visiting a friend from college and he happened to have some acid in his house.

With nothing better to do planned we took a few hits and jumped in the pool.

About 6 hours later we only felt a body high so we took more.

Another hour after that we decided to go inside and get dry.

I grabbed my clothes and headed to the bathroom.

I sat on the toilet to pee and that’s when it hit me. Hard.

I looked down at the floor and water started flowing all over the place.

I was peeing at the time so in my mind I thought I was pissing everywhere.

Needless to say, I freaked the fuck out until I noticed that the water on the floor receded.

It was like a tide rolling over the floor and coming back.

I looked at the walls and a framed box with dried roses inside of it.

The roses were breathing in and out and the rose wallpaper was swirling about effortlessly.

I remember looking down at my hand and opening and shutting it.

When I opened my hand it turned young, but when I closed it, it turned old.

I was in the bathroom for hours. Tripping hard.

Once I finally came out, I sat on the couch and looked at travel magazines until I came down off my trip and passed out.

4. Ketamine

This was a very short and one time deal but it was so cool.

I was at my very first music festival and did some with the kids I went with.

It hit me and in a blink of an eye I was transported into Super Mario Brothers. Music and all.

Everything was colorful to look at and every minor accomplishment was a level up and some gold coins.

It wore off quick, but I’ll never forget my first real life video game.

5. Opium

Yes, yes…I smoked opium. I never did it again being that shit is so stupid to do.

Nonetheless, it was a wild ride to say the least.

Now I was on other drugs at the time that didn’t help, but I think the opium was the case of my experience.

I was at a festival (the same one already mentioned).

Smoked it from a piece of straw and didn’t really feel anything but relaxed.

A while later, Umphrey’s McGee came on stage and started to play.

I was dancing around feeling the music.

Until I felt it too much that is.

I remember getting really turned on by their playing.

So much, in fact, that I creamed myself.

Right there, in a crowd of 20,000 people, I accomplished having sex with music.

It was fucking crazy.

I didn’t tell anyone about it for months.

But, it’s too hilarious of a story not to share.

I enjoy drugs. Recreationally, mind you. The older you get the more you have to start being an adult and can’t do stupid shit like drugs anymore but I’m ok with that. My memories will stay with me through my old age and make one hell of a story. My story. On drugs.