A Love Letter To Confident Women


To confident women everywhere,

I love you. I love all that you are and the confidence you bring to each new day. I love that you make your opinions known in restaurants, legislatures, bedrooms, boardrooms, social causes and your relationships. You not only expect, but demand to be partners in life and in business. You are women who know, and are proud of who you are. You never expect others to guess what you are thinking because you make your thoughts known.

I want a partner, not someone who swallows her words because she’s afraid to rock the boat or disturb the peace. I want boat rockers, floor shakers, and earth movers in my life. I want you because you speak up and tell the world your desires, hopes, and dreams. I want you because you expect to be listened to and will accept nothing less.

I am drawn to you because you stand up for what you believe in and share your ideas and suggestions with the world. You know you have much to offer a partner and expect nothing less than equality in every area of your life. I love that you will speak your mind, never leaving me guessing about your desires or motivations. You are honest, true, and beautiful because of it.

But I am not alone

I am not alone in my affections for confident women. Good men everywhere (those worthy of getting involved with romantically or letting into your bed) are seeking an equal partner in our relationships. Good men want to share the responsibilities of life equally and shun any notion of “traditional roles”. It is our desire to find that perfect partner to talk to when we wake up in the morning, to listen to during the day, and think about as we go to sleep. We want to know no subject is off limits, no dream is too big, and no mountain is so high you cannot climb it together.

Your confidence comes through in every aspect of your life making you irresistible. A good man recognizes your confidence as a true gift that should be embraced and enjoyed. You make the world a better place each time you stand up and speak your mind.

I love your confidence when you…

Make your voices known

Confident women let their voices be heard on any issue. They never consider they don’t the right to speak up and be heard. How could any man resist this? Seriously, it is a powerful feeling to be near a woman who knows who she is, what she wants, and is willing to share this with the world. Whether it is what to eat for dinner, where to go this weekend, or why she’s pro or con on a given issue we love knowing we will not have to guess what you are thinking.

Men love knowing a confident woman will not wait to debate something at some distant point in the future. Instead, she will make her voice known quickly and challenge you on the spot. Men don’t want to guess your thoughts. We want to hear if we are in agreement with a statement, event, or situation.

We love confident women because they share their thoughts. We love you because you will readily debate in areas where you disagree and refuse let your opinion fade or become overshadowed. We love you for the stand you will take for yourself in all situations.

Thank you for letting your voice be heard.

Are Vocal in Bed

I’m going to let you in on a little secret — we men generally do not know if you are actually enjoying yourself during sex. Seriously, the only guide we have is what you tell us. If you don’t tell us what you like, the chances of us stumbling onto the right area are slim and none. We’re creatures of habit and this certainly applies to the bedroom. We find a move or two and we stick to them, completely believing these faithful routines will result in mutual happiness. But what we really want is to make you happy and we are willing to spend an inordinate amount of time trying to discern what makes you squirm.

With a confident woman the guessing is gone. You lovingly direct us to the areas deserving of the most attention. You let us know when we are way off base and when we have touched on an area where we should camp out for a while. A woman with confidence is our dream sexual partner because we don’t need to guess what will please you. We can go from fumbling in the dark to a lover capable of delivering you pleasure.

Thank you for being vocal in bed.

Share your dreams

Screw being content, we want a woman who demands happiness. Men seek women in our lives who have big dreams and ambitions and will let us know what they are. She does not wait for someone else to tell her what she may want and then “go along”. No. She states her dream publicly and goes about making it happen. We love a woman who does not stuff her dreams down inside her to die unfulfilled. We love knowing you are a dreamer and will do everything we can to help you make your dream come true.

Thank you for dreaming and sharing those dreams with us.

Engage in Discussions

Men love women who are ready to challenge our beliefs and ideas. We want to talk with women who are willing to stand up to us and push our thinking in new directions. We love your ability to challenge us intellectually. Confident women make us better and we love you every day for it.

We want to engage in dialogue, debate, and discourse. With a confident woman we are sure to hear her true thoughts and be able to explore a topic with a relish that makes us desire more interactions. We simply cannot get enough of a confident woman and are always looking for new excuses to engage with you.

Thank you for challenging us and making us better in the process.

Take the Lead

Men love women who break out and take the lead.

There is nothing sexier than a confident woman walking up to us and asking us out to dinner. The world is full of historical roles for men and women which have no basis in logic or in human behavior. Instead, they are simply expectations of a bygone era that continue to permeate society. But you, the confident women of the world, understand this. You know you do not need to wait for a man to ask you out. Instead, men are delighted to know someone is interested in connecting with them.

Thank you for taking control.

We Love You

On behalf of good men everywhere, we love you and your confidence. Let that confident nature show in everything you do as you make the world a better by speaking out and speaking up.

On A More Personal Note

And, on a more personal note, to a few of the confident women in my life I want to say thank you for making my life better.

To my wife Betsy, I love you because you know who you are and what you want from life. I love knowing I never have to guess what is on your mind, how you feel about an issue, or what you know to be important in life. I love you for having the confidence to leave your home town at the age of 30 and move over 1,500 miles away to a place you had never seen…by yourself. I love you for being my partner in every aspect of life and embracing each new experience by my side.

Besides, you literally wrote the book on confidence and that is damn sexy.

To my mom Patricia, I love you because you shine in the midst of tough situations. It is only in retrospect I can somewhat understand the challenge you faced when Daddy died. With 2 boys under the age of 10 you stepped up and became the most amazing woman I have known. You went back to work, raised us, and went back to school and got your degree all before I turned 18. Then, you blazed the trail for me by following your dream to live in Colorado.

You instilled in me the love of confident women because you were the first I ever knew. You taught me how to be a man who will always seeks out independent, vocal, passionate, and strong-willed women who have the confidence to live a life on their terms. What a wonderful gift.

To my friend Sherry, I love you because you are fearless. You embrace new crazy adventures with an enthusiastic “Yes” first and a question about the details second. From a driving a car across Europe and Asia to walking across Spain, your desire to consume all that life throws at you is a testament to your ability to stand up and do what you want in life. You have the confidence to go after the big adventures you desire and never let fear stand in your way.

Your courage is an inspiration to me to push myself more and try new things whenever possible.

To my colleague Beth, I love you because you followed your dream. Leaving a stable career to follow your own voice is scary for us all. I love knowing that you had the confidence to make the decision, create the plan, and follow it through. There are so many obstacles which tend to trip so many of us up along the way, but you made it happen.

You are an inspiration for many who dream of doing something different, but are unable (or unwilling) to make it a reality.

To all the confident women in my life — I love you. My life will forever be enriched because of you and the impact you have on me each and every day.

To all the women I don’t yet know who are sacrificing their ideals and opinions to fit in: It’s not worth it. You are shrinking to fit within a group that is unworthy of you. There are plenty more men like me willing and anxious to get to know the real you, and I hope you speak up and give those men a chance to find you.

Thank you for making the world a better place,

Please recommend and share to let the world’s confident women know how much they mean to us all.

This post originally appeared at Medium.

image – hillary the mammal