ABC’s ‘The Bachelor’ Thinks You’re An Idiot


Let me get this out of the way first. Whoever is running this Twitter feed should probably be dragged through the streets behind an old timey wagon.

That’s not cute and if it’s a joke it’s a lot of wasted time.

Second, I don’t really watch the Bachelor much and that’s mainly because it’s unimaginably sexist and not even in an ironic “I don’t know any better” kind of way. Even worse, it’s sexism among stupid people so far as I can tell and it makes me feel physically bad. To quote a fellow TC writer, “porn illustrates healthier relationship dynamics than the Bachelor.” I think she’s saying that the stories in porn are better and I’d have to agree. But, I know a lot of women like the Bachelor and while that hurts my feelings I accept it as inevitable. However, I don’t think the world was ready for Juan Pablo. He’s manipulative, has no self awareness, thinks women who sleep with him are dirty, and is just generally the worst Bachelor the world has ever known. He’s also the first minority Bachelor and I don’t think that’s a coincidence. To see why I think that let’s look at some headlines that were popping up over the last year and a half.

There’s tons more, the web was full of this discussion over the last few years and eventually ABC got pressured into doing what they didn’t want to do, cast a minority who looks White but sounds “minority.” They were sort of celebrated for doing this, sort of, and so the stage was set for Juan Pablo to show the rest of America that minorities can be shallow, buff, meatheads just as much as anyone else. So, here’s what we got. Thanks to Jezebel for the catch me up (something I never thought I’d say). Frankly, it’s starting to look like everyone hates Juan Pablo…

and I think that might be by design. Bear with me here. It’s no secret that the Bachelor is a soap opera, not a reality show. It’s also no secret that the majority of viewers are women (no judgement!). The show has gotten worse and worse from what I can tell which means that the creators no longer respect their audience and being told over and over that they’re racist, I can’t help but think that ABC is now just trolling women. In Monday’s episode, Juan Pablo had probably sex with a girl named Clare and then later in the show basically told her she was dirty for sleeping with him and that he was ashamed to face his daughter now.

That’s right, he told a woman that she made him feel dirty after having sex with her which from what I can tell from my previous relationships is something you only do upon request. You don’t sleep with a woman after she throws herself at you, wait a day, and then tell her she’s sinful and a bad example for little girls. ABC is trolling you. They picked this guy because he’s a good looking psycho that you’d like initially and then slowly come to hate (possibly like your last few relationships) and then you’ll never, ever ask ABC to put another minority on the Bachelor again. You just won’t be able to stand it. Minorities on the Bachelor will mean Juan Pablo and Juan Pablo means mind games and shame and Catholic guilt. So, that’s the long game on ABC and Bachelor minorities. With Juan Pablo, ABC is saying “We will tell you what you want. Don’t ever demand anything again.”

I’m not big on making statements about entire genders but I’m just going to go ahead and put this out there. You cannot be a good woman and watch this show and if you enjoy it you might not even be human. Sort of serious on that but you’re definitely being trolled and trolled good.