Acting ‘Mysterious’ Is Not Attractive Anymore


Acting mysterious is not attractive. It is sketchy.

I don’t want someone who picks and chooses which information to give me. Someone who is secretive about his exes and his childhood and his place of work.

I am not interested in anyone who thinks playing hard to get is a valid form of flirting. In my mind, acting unobtainable means you are immature. It means you are inexperienced. It means you are confused about what makes a man worth wanting.

I am not going to beg you to tell me more about yourself if you come across as closed off. I don’t want to have a conversation with you that feels like pulling teeth. If you actively choose to shut me out, then I am going to assume you are not interested and continue my search for someone who is.

To me, mysterious means that you are not invested in the relationship. It means you do not care about me enough to risk putting your heart on the line.

If you really wanted to get to know me, then you would speak and listen the same amount. You would be asking questions about my friends and my family and telling me about your own. You would give and take. 

I don’t want someone who dodges certain topics because they are afraid of revealing too much. I don’t want to feel like I have to walk on eggshells in order to avoid chasing you out of the room.

I want someone who is willing to tear their chest open and pour their heart out to me. Someone who will admit their faults, their hopes, their dreams, their awkward moments. Someone who will be refreshingly authentic.

Mysteriousness does not intrigue me. I don’t want you to keep me guessing in the hopes of keeping me interested. If you send mixed signals and act detached, then I am going to come to the conclusion that you are unavailable. I am going to shrug my shoulders and say goodbye.

I have too much on my plate to worry about some guy who thinks messing with my head is the key to my heart. If you make me jump through hoops in order to get a text back from you or go on another date with you, you must not be afraid of losing me. I must not matter that much to you.

When I am open and honest with someone, I expect the same in return. I don’t want my kindness to be repaid with silly games and unanswered questions. I don’t want to waste my time when there are a billion better things I could be doing.

I have a life of my own and I have standards of my own. There is no sense in letting myself grow attached to someone who has purposely kept themselves at an arm’s length from me. That would be stupid.

To put it simply, mysteriousness is not attractive anymore. Effort is attractive. Honesty is attractive. Transparency is attractive.