After You Left, I Let Myself Go

I let myself grieve the love I had lost.
I cried, I drank, I smoked, I slept the days away.
I listened to hauntingly sad songs with lyrics that echoed my heartbreak.
I let myself be used and I felt a depth of loneliness that I did not know existed.

Then, I let myself breathe.

I did what I wanted, when I wanted, without fear of consequence.
I let myself have fun, go on dates, and meet new people.
I let my mind settle and my guilt fade.
I let my anxieties go and my fears fall away.

I let myself make mistakes. I let myself read, learn new things, and take adventures.

I let myself dream, hope, and plan for the future.

You walked away from the life we were building together. You let me go.

So, I am going to let myself go; I am going to let myself move on from you and the damage you’ve inflicted.

And someday, I’ll let myself fall in love with someone who will never let me go.