After You, There’s Only Grey


I discarded the list I kept of all your favorite things. While I never cared for your candy of choice, the color grey will never look the same. And a pile of your love letters is waiting to be recycled. You were my favorite author. I like to imagine those words will be in the tissues you’ll use sometime in the future to wipe your tears. I like to imagine you’ll be thinking of me as you’re crying.

But the grandest thing I did was wear that dress. The black one from the first night we spent together. I wore it yesterday with the courage of a woman who has fought this battle plenty of times – and was never defeated. And on my face I wielded my smile like a sword with blade sharp teeth. A threat. A challenge. A sign of triumph that the hurt all of the archer’s arrows have pierced me with is not enough to bring me down.

And I wore that dress like impenetrable armor. I paraded myself through town with the confidence of a warrior queen who knows her demise will not be at the hands of men.

So I carry on with grace and leave you on the battlefield, watching as the Valkyrie pass you over. Memories of you scattered about like fallen soldiers.

The grandest thing I did was wear this dress. Another man commented that I was glowing. Battle-glory. I think now this is my favorite dress. I think now my favorite color is grey.