All Of Justin Bieber’s Fans Are About To Hate Me
By Rob Fee
One of my favorite things to do on Twitter is post ridiculously fake text conversations that are supposed to be between me and a really famous person. I posted one back in January and another one with Macklemore during the Grammys. I assumed it was clear that the conversations were fake since they’re completely absurd. Apparently I was wrong.
Since today is Justin Bieber’s birthday, Twitter has been flooded with hashtags celebrating the joyous day he debuted on the earth. I decided to post another ridiculous conversation, this time between the Biebs and me discussing his favorite movies. Here’s the tweet:
#HappyBirthdayJustinBieber I love when we talk about our favorite movies together. pic.twitter.com/1OEmJ1B7QM
— Rob Fee (@robfee) March 1, 2014
I put my phone in my pocket and didn’t think much about the tweet for a few hours. When I opened Twitter and saw the hundreds of replies to my tweet, I realized the army of Beliebers did not realize it was a joke. I have a horrible feeling that hundreds of Bieber fans will be celebrating his birth with a marathon of Madea movies with a dramatic detour into the horrible world of the Jamie Kennedy sequel to The Mask. So many of them claimed that those were also their favorite movies. I’m willing to bet any amount of money that no one’s favorite movies are 4 Tyler Perry films and a subpar Jamie Kennedy sequel. Please just look at some of the replies I received:
@robfee madea is the best
— HAPPY BDAY JUSTIN (@Celinerroseth) March 1, 2014
@robfee those are my favs too omg too funny
— happy bday Justin! (@ohiobelieberr) March 1, 2014
@robfee @rauhlwithfredo OH MY GOD GIVE ME HIS NUMBER GSUDHJWKWJW
— HAPPY BDAY JUSTIN ♛ (@Sarakidrauhll) March 1, 2014
@robfee @RocsManTitties he’s so cute OMG no WTF I’m in tears
— ♡HBD JUSTIN♡ (@KiingBizzle) March 1, 2014
@robfee give me his # or I’ll kill my cat
— (@biebersdelrey) March 1, 2014
“@robfee: #HappyBirthdayJustinBieber I love when we talk about our favorite movies together. pic.twitter.com/haEzjpf5UP” he’s a true nigga
— lil b (@biebersbong) March 1, 2014
@bieber_jpg @robfee EXACTLY. and omg exactly he’s so cute the way he was like quoting stuff from the movies omg can i have that pls
— ♛HAPPY BDAY BIZZLE♛ (@deandraprince) March 1, 2014
@bieber_jpg @robfee IKR OMG. plus the movies he loves are some of my faves- can u see a connection
— ♛HAPPY BDAY BIZZLE♛ (@deandraprince) March 1, 2014
@robfee good choices 👌👌
— كيت (@stratfxck) March 1, 2014
@robfee WHAT IS HIS NUMBER
— luke jai beau james (@KidrauhlsScene) March 1, 2014
@robfee WE LOVE THE SAME MOVIES HE LOVED MADEA I LOVE MADEA WE MYST GET MARRIED
— Happy Birthday LOVE (@langdonbieber) March 1, 2014
I think I speak for everyone when I say that of all the things Beliebers have done over the years, pretending to love Son of the Mask may be the most troubling.