All The Times I Tweeted “CATCH ME IN THE CLUB (INSERT BLANK)” In 2013 (So Far)
By Nolan Allan
Twitter as a medium can be severely flawed, as Jonathan Franzen, among others, has made quite clear in some of our venerable institutions of journalism. Sometimes though, much like Oscar Wilde’s aphorisms or Benjamin Franklin’s advice in “Common Sense,” limitations on text allow small bits and pieces of knowledge to be delivered and absorbed almost unconsciously by its readers.
I’m not trying to compare myself to those guys, but my favorite tweets (and my favorite authors) manage to combine aspects of the eternal and the mundane in ways that seem new and fresh and remind me of my own limitations and ways I (and humans in general) can try to overcome them. And isn’t that (sort of) what art is?
Some of my other favorite tweets are just rap lyrics mashed up with other parts of contemporary culture. To that end, here is a series of tweets I’ve made over the course of 2013 that (hopefully) combine aspects of the two things I just mentioned. They’re not going to last eternal like Wilde’s and Franklin’s words, but maybe they’ll make you smile or pop open Wikipedia to see what the heck I’m talking about.
CATCH ME IN MY LIVING ROOM WEARING SWEATPANTS & HOARDING BURSTS OF VALIDATION FROM STRANGERS ON THE INTERNET
— ornery island (@nolanallan) January 17, 2013
CATCH ME IN THE CLUB SLOWING DOWN YOUR AUTOMATED PERCEPTIONS
— ornery island (@nolanallan) January 18, 2013
CATCH ME IN THE CLUB USING POETIC LANGUAGE TO MAKE THE FAMILIAR SEEM UNFAMILIAR
— ornery island (@nolanallan) January 19, 2013
CATCH ME IN THE CLUB TURNING THESE FRAGMENTS INTO A LEGACY
— ornery island (@nolanallan) January 20, 2013
CATCH ME IN THE CLUB SELLING PEOPLE PYRITE & TELLING THEM IT'S JUST WEIRD LOOKING SILVER
— ornery island (@nolanallan) January 20, 2013
CATCH ME IN THE CLUB RUBBING MY HANDS TOGETHER LIKE BIRDMAN AND/OR GOLLUM
— ornery island (@nolanallan) January 28, 2013
CATCH ME IN THE CLUB WEARING WOMEN'S SOCKS BECAUSE I LIKE HAVING BRIGHT & COLORFUL FEETSIES ALL DAY EVERY DAY
— ornery island (@nolanallan) January 29, 2013
CATCH ME IN THE CLUB WEARING A KIMONO & EXCAVATING MY PSYCHIC DEBRIS
— ornery island (@nolanallan) February 1, 2013
CATCH ME IN THE CLUB BUILDING INTERNET COOPERATIVES
— ornery island (@nolanallan) February 8, 2013
CATCH ME IN THE CLUB WRITING POST-MODERN HAIKUS ON NAPKINS & SETTING THEM ON FIRE WITH MY MIND
— ornery island (@nolanallan) February 10, 2013
CATCH ME IN THE CLUB SCALPING CRYOGENICALLY PRESERVED HEADS LIKE JOHN JOEL GLANTON IN THE 24TH CENTURY
— ornery island (@nolanallan) February 15, 2013
CATCH ME IN THE CLUB PRAYING MY WAY THROUGH THE PRE-APOCALYPSE LIKE A PEASANT
— ornery island (@nolanallan) February 21, 2013
CATCH ME IN THE CLUB YELLING LIKE STEVE ROGGENBUCK "GO OUTSIDE & STAND IN THE RAIN"
— ornery island (@nolanallan) February 22, 2013
CATCH ME IN THE CLUB WEARING A CUTE LIL SAILOR OUTFIT & SCREAMING "HOW DO YOUR BRACKETS LOOK?"
— ornery island (@nolanallan) March 23, 2013
CATCH ME IN THE CLUB DESCRIBING THIS AS MY DRUGGED OUT DECEMBERISTS PERIOD
— ornery island (@nolanallan) April 8, 2013
CATCH ME IN THE CLUB GETTING WAYLAID IN THE FORMATION OF EXPRESSION
— ornery island (@nolanallan) April 17, 2013
CATCH ME IN THE CLUB USING 'LIL' AND 'LITTLE' IN THE SAME SENTENCE TO HIGHLIGHT SPECIFIC ASPECTS OF A MOOD
— ornery island (@nolanallan) April 23, 2013
CATCH ME IN THE CLUB POISONING DELICATE AMPHIBIANS USING JUST THE TOXINS IN MY SKIN
— ornery island (@nolanallan) April 27, 2013
CATCH ME IN THE CLUB USING WORDS THAT ESCAPE THE ORDER OF EXCHANGEABILITY, WORDS THAT HAVE REMOVED THEMSELVES FROM THE SPHERE OF UTILITY
— ornery island (@nolanallan) May 6, 2013
CATCH ME IN THE CLUB DAUBING BUTTERFLY SCALES ON MY FACE TO COVER UP MY FLAWS
— ornery island (@nolanallan) May 13, 2013
CATCH ME IN THE CLUB STINKING OF SHOEMAKER'S PITCH AND CLUTCHING THE INK STAINED FIRST DRAFT OF MY MANIFESTO
— ornery island (@nolanallan) May 20, 2013
CATCH ME IN THE CLUB ABSENTMINDEDLY PENNING CORMAC MCCARTHY-STYLE SCIENCE FICTION THAT ENDS SADLY BUT LEAVES OPEN THE POSSIBILITY OF UTOPIA
— ornery island (@nolanallan) May 25, 2013
CATCH ME IN THE CLUB DANCING ON THOMAS JEFFERSON'S GRAVE
— ornery island (@nolanallan) June 4, 2013
CATCH ME IN THE CLUB MAKING FEEBLE ATTEMPTS AT ~JOKES~
— ornery island (@nolanallan) June 13, 2013
CATCH ME IN THE CLUB TRYING TO REGAIN MY IMMANENCE
— ornery island (@nolanallan) June 14, 2013
CATCH ME IN THE CLUB PATIENTLY WAITING IN LINE TO STAND IN A ROOM THAT'S WARM & COMFY DESPITE THE SNOW FALLING CONSTANTLY FROM THE CEILING
— ornery island (@nolanallan) June 18, 2013
CATCH ME IN THE CLUB BEING YOUR FAVORITE CONTENT CREATOR'S FAVORITE CONTENT CREATOR
— ornery island (@nolanallan) June 26, 2013
CATCH ME IN THE CLUB DENOUNCING THE STRUCTURES THAT SUPPORT REALITY
— ornery island (@nolanallan) July 10, 2013
CATCH ME IN THE CLUB FIXING MY MAKEUP WITH A COMPACT FULL OF LACEWINGS AND ERGOT FUNGUS
— ornery island (@nolanallan) August 28, 2013
CATCH ME IN THE CLUB ABSENTMINDEDLY PENNING A MODERN DAY SEQUEL TO 'COMMON SENSE'
— ornery island (@nolanallan) September 1, 2013
CATCH ME IN THE CLUB REFLECTING ON THE FACT THAT GLOBALIZATION PROVES CAPITALISM CAN INSIDIOUSLY ADAPT ITSELF TO ANY KIND OF CIVILIZATION
— ornery island (@nolanallan) September 14, 2013
CATCH ME IN THE CLUB STARING GRIMLY AT THE HORIZON AND MAKING PLANS TO ESCAPE AMERICA'S POLITICAL BINARY
— ornery island (@nolanallan) September 17, 2013
CATCH ME IN THE CLUB ELUCIDATING ON THE FACT THAT THE WORD 'SCROLL' CONTINUES TO BE SIGNIFICANT IN MODERN TIMES
— ornery island (@nolanallan) September 20, 2013
CATCH ME IN THE CLUB APPLYING THE HEGELIAN DIALECTIC TO KANYE'S OUEVRE
— ornery island (@nolanallan) September 20, 2013
CATCH ME IN THE CLUB GETTING TURMERIC STAINS ON MY WHITE JEGGINGS
— ornery island (@nolanallan) September 21, 2013