Am I Ready To Open My Heart Again?


Today I explored the shoreline, carefully picking my path and watching my steps.

Purposely choosing a trail with texture, bumpy rocks and hills, forcing myself to stay in the moment.

A path that perfectly defined vagueness with absolute clarity.

Each stride my mind became clear, more resolute as if the growing distance between myself and the pain had become a forgotten emotional chasm.

I made a methodical decision to place my own fragility aside with every step, bringing new definition to my own strength.

My eyes drifted to the horizon, the sky pink with sharp prongs of bare trees ripping holes in the clouds, revealing open wounds with colors of winter approaching, bleeding and burning in my mind.

I let my tired legs breathe as I removed my pack, looking out over the city.

Letting my thoughts rest on an illusion I had been playing into for so long.

The apparition that another human being holds the power to save or destroy me.

I took deep breaths letting myself mourn the times I forget about my own personal resilience and ability to persevere, without judgment.

And there I was, staring my own truth in the eye, letting that reluctant question wash to the surface.

Am I ready to risk being broken again?

Am I ready to risk letting my heart get shattered and walking away with nothing left to say then “I tried”?

Am I ready to let down someone see me, for me without holding on to the past wrongs of others?

I felt my chest light up with fire, fierce with a sort of confidence I have always craved, taking in the breathtaking view letting my truth sink in.

Letting the answer reverberate within my existence, knowing that I have finally built the foundation that I spent so much time avoiding. An infrastructure worth all the words spewed onto paper from my heart.

I know.

I am ready.