An Unathletic Person’s Adventure Into Gym World


A gym sits in the list places I don’t enjoy being at. Preceded only by waiting rooms and ice cream shops that ran out of my favorite flavor. They’re noisy, they’re smelly, and they’re filled with strangers that tend to stare. Not exactly a 5 star hotel experience.

If you’re like me, you only visit the gym often enough to keep you in enough shape to make walking up the three flights of stairs to your apartment with $100 worth of groceries in one trip a doable task. (This is definitely a resume worthy skill to have ladies and gents)

Making that trip into the dreaded gym when you know the type of people you’re about to be faced with can require a big internal pep talk. I’m here to tell you that you’re not alone in your thoughts. The gym is filled with stereotypes and this post is dedicated to bringing awareness to the most painful ones.

1. The Mirror Hogs

Possibly the most annoying members of the gym world. You know, the big buff guys with their protein powder and milk jug of water? They often self identify as “gym rats.” Boys, and I guess girls too for the sake of being inclusive, I’m saying this in the nicest, most helpful way that I can. Stop staring at yourself in the mirror and move out of the way so other people can use the equipment. Modest is hottest and vanity isn’t appreciated by anyone in this situation.

2. The Sports Bra Clique

I think some girls forget how to put on clothes before going to the gym. I get it, you’re fit, you’re liberated, you love your body. We’re all sweaty here. Stop trying to impress people. Worn-in, over-sized t-shirts are glorious things. Especially while working out.

3. The Shirtless Boys

Again, we’re all sweaty here, we all know you’re hot, please grab a shirt on the way in and reduce the amount of sweat you just left on the equipment. Glistening sweat is only attractive when you’re not having to be exposed to it.

4. The Amateurs

Working up the motivation to go to the gym and get fit is tough. To make it less miserable you should probably learn that running full speed on a treadmill for 5 seconds doesn’t count as a workout. Ease into it young padawan. You’ll be strong soon enough.

4. The Body Builders

Sooo where did you sell your soul to get those kind of muscles? Seriously. And the grunting is a little terrifying. And I’m a little jealous of the amount of food you get to eat in order to bulk up like that.

5. The Socializers

You know the gym is for working out not chit chatting…right? No one cares to overhear about your weekend plans or how you decided to start an instagram for your oh so cute cat. Leave that kind of conversation for happy hour.

6. The Rockstar

Excuse me sir…SIR…can you please turn your music in your headphones down? The moon just called and said they were about to file a noise complaint. Your body is already in pain, don’t self inflict on your eardrums too. 80-year-old you will thank me for this comment. 

7. The Just Trying to Get by

You’re rocking those crewsocks. You’re hitting that cardio. You’re stumbling out after leg day. You’re the real MVP. We need our gyms filled with more people like you.