Another Word For “Awesome”
By Thoughtis
In a lot of ways, I’m an adult. My Netflix queue, wardrobe and the As seen on TV Slushy Magic kit sitting on my desk might argue otherwise, but it’s a fact. I am a bona fide grown-up. Try not to be too impressed. I own several matching sets of salt-and-pepper shakers, I can rent a car basically everywhere, and I’ve considered buying a briefcase several times. There’s one small problem: I still say “awesome.”
It’s more than disconcerting. There is just no reason for it. I have a robust personal vocabulary that is resplendent with adjectives. Yet, “awesome” persists.
Sure, having a youthful outlook is great and I don’t really have a lifestyle that prohibits me from saying “awesome.” Still, I think it’s time to exchange it for a new go-to word. I need something for when I think something very positive has happened or will happen to me, or others. This will additionally be deployed when I encounter something I believe to be the very best of its kind.
Maybe this isn’t an age thing at all. There are certainly tons of people in the world who are much more adult than me. These are people with things like wine cellars, classical music, and work Blackberries, who use the word “awesome” skillfully — and yes, I’m as troubled as you that apparently I think the epitome of adulthood is Frasier Crane.
Saying “awesome” — like riding a unicycle, beating up the beat, or marrying a man — is fine, just not appropriate for my personality. It’s a habit that I have no memory of forming or no reason to form, or anyway that’s what I told people after that incredibly strange eulogy. Maybe I’m just too positive. Or more accurately, maybe I’m so negative and cynical that when something even remotely good happens, I am blown away, deem it a miracle, and describe it thusly. Either way, the one thing I’ve realized is for me, someone who is not a cast member of California Dreams — saying “awesome” isn’t awesome.
Here now, is my search so far, for a replacement for “awesome” in my personal vocabulary. Suggestions welcome
REJECTS
Too toned down to express real emotion:
Splendid
Nice
Neat
Too Tony Toni Tone:
Feels good
Too flamboyant to describe things that happen every day:
Sensational
Fabulous
Wonderful
Fantastic
Too flamboyant to describe anything but a diva’s ensemble or a diet snack cookie:
Fantabulous
Amahzing
Bootylicious
Delicioso
Too Abbrev.’d:
Terrif.
Ridic.
D.
Too Downton Abbey:
First-rate
Divine
Marvelous
Grand
Superlative
Not Downton Abbey enough:
Hot
Sick
Bangin’
Sweet
Amazeballs
Terms/idioms that I cannot use because they’re too trite:
The cat’s pajamas
The cat’s meow
Out of this world
Out-of-sight
Top-drawer
Terms/idioms that I cannot use because they do not exist:
The dog’s sweatpants
The dog’s infuriating whine
Into those dimensions
Ocean’s 11
Highest Cabinet
Too 1960s:
Far out
Too 1970s:
Groovy
Too 1980s:
Rad
Too 1990s:
Cool
Too 2000s:
Yay, it’s just like something from the 60s, 70s, 80s, or 90s!
Too Stinson:
Legendary
Words that sound like I am exclusively describing a penis:
Auspicious
Magnificent
Prizewinning
Astonishing
Too heavily associated with Princess Bride:
Inconceivable
Too confusing but real:
Awfully good
Boffo
Less confusing but fake:
Nastily Swell
Chongkle
CONTENDERS
Great