Are Realationship Games Just Games, Or Do They Mean Something More?


Relationships are fraught with ups and downs, lefts and rights. The game of relationships is a thing, which although puzzling at times, is something that we all have to go through.

Many times we get so caught up in these games that it’s hard to tell the difference between playing them and actual physical reality. If we get too absorbed we start to think that everything our significant other does is somehow indicative or in response to something we did. This plays out in both horrifying and beautiful ways, especially on Facebook.

I wouldn’t be the first person to say that what goes on on Facebook is some warped conflagration of the reality that plays out in our lives. We only see the things about people that they want us to see, and god forbid if we deviate from that unwritten rule and share too much about our lives we will be condemned to the land of the Facebook pariahs. If there really is a land of Facebook pariahs I’d kind of like to see it.

The games people play when engaging in relationships should be kept in private, or at least that’s my opinion. We all know what it looks like when you post a status and several minutes later you receive a comment from someone you’re trying to avoid that says something along the lines of “Are you ignoring me?”. Inevitably, the next comment will be one of your snarky friends saying something like “Woah, tone down the crazy.” What results is a look into our affairs that we want desperately to delete and save from the prying voyeuristic eyes of everyone we know, but we all know it’s too late.

Another tactic of the crazy is to think that everything you post is in some way relating to them so they comment in that fashion and you’re left thinking, what? This wasn’t about you. They think you’re saying whatever you said to further the game or to stick ‘em where it hurts but the simple truth is, you just find kittens in mason jars to be entertaining, not a commentary on the state of bottling up emotions.

The above examples are when the game, or illusion of the game has gone too far.

I would venture to say that every one of us thinks in some way that the things our significant other (or potential significant other) posts are relating to us somehow, because, well that’s hope for you, but we keep it cool and don’t respond because we can’t be sure, and if that uncertainty is there, well it’s best just to ignore it.

The point is that games are inherent in establishing new relationships. Playing it cool and hard to get is par for the course because we know deep down that it’s repulsive to be the object of abject obsession. Just ask anyone who’s ever had a stalker how they feel.

The game is to somehow make it known that we’re interested without inciting that repulsion and scaring the prospect off.

It’s complicated for anyone let alone someone that pines for a relationship because they’re desperately trying to make their life better somehow.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, relationships aren’t meant to complete you. They’re meant to be a mutual growing experience for two people who are already good with themselves as they are.

Granted, we all say that we don’t want to play games but what’s the alternative? Disney movie romance? Or something of the ilk? I don’t know because I’ve never not played games.

It’s just the way things work. It’s something we’ve decided as a society works best because everything else has failed. Just like democracy, paying your bills and getting a job. These are things that just must be done in order to have semblance of normalcy.

The best advice I can give about the game is to play it, but don’t take it so seriously. If there’s something your potential significant other says or does that seems like it’s about you, it’s probably not. Stay away from the uncertain shadow land because you might just dig yourself a deeper hole.

Last but not least, keep it light. Have fun and make jokes because the most attractive characteristic in anybody is a good sense of humor.

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image – jesse.millan