Are Submissive Men Destined For A Lifetime Of Loneliness?


It’s just not a cultural norm – it’s the opposite, even – for women to pursue men.

That’s a problem for submissive men.

It isn’t natural for such types to ask women out. They will very well like women, but it’s extremely hard for them to be the one to make a move.

I’ve been very fortunate thus far. My two past girlfriends grabbed my hand and kissed me. Even my former wife did the same.

But, I recognize I may have been lucky to have been pursued like that once, let alone three times, and so I’m not planning on expecting it for the future.

So fellow submissive men, what are we to do?

Do we just hope that someone we like just happens to pursue us, which would, of course, require them to like us in the first place?

Or, do we push against our natures – do we pursue methods to do that? (Are there programs for such objectives? Or do those types of things, like therapy, not exist because they encourage you to be who you are?)

Or, should we just embrace who we are and as more women embrace who they are, folks like us will benefit, since more women will become empowered as gender roles (and gender itself) continues to be redefined, with cultures changing?

Or, will culture not change until, for us, it’s too late?

It doesn’t help that it’s been riveting for me every time women pursued me. I remember exactly where I was each time each of those three women held my hand or kissed me. Amber grabbed my hand as we were headed to the Mormon church’s Temple Square back when I did that sort of thing. The next week, Kung-Fu Panda was not the main focus. Brenda had driven me home and went to the front seats, gladly planting one on me that same night. With Allee, I tried my hardest to inch my hand forward as “Inception” played, but I perhaps only went 30 percent of the way and she went the rest. And then she leaned in as we left each other for the evening.

I’m just worried that those women were extremely rare in their actions. That they were actually amazing to buck cultural convention. I’m sorry if other men have not been fortunate like I have; living in a rather strong conservative culture, I’m not expecting that will happen again.

That leaves me and those like me in a lurch, and I’m so sorry for that. I know it’s hard to do anything monumental while lonely, but we must continually fight to change the social culture.