Why Dick Van Dyke Is Your Dream Man
He dances like Bambi figuring out how to walk and then getting its legs slashed in half and then saying, “Fuck this, I’m not done” and then building new legs and walking on those better than his natural legs.
How To Marry Paul McCartney
Wait until he’s vulnerable. This will take about 3 – 5 years. After that, he will most likely be divorced. After that, you have a three-month window to pounce.
5 ‘Seinfeld’ Plots Killed By The Internet
JERRY: You’re going to shut down some poor girl’s Tumblr? GEORGE: IT’S ALL I GOT, JERRY! ALL I GOT.
How To Get A Musician Boyfriend
3. Be famous.
The Top 10 Hottest Babies
This baby was so hot that even David Bowie wanted him. If David Bowie wants to kidnap you, say yes. Parents need to educate their children on the dangers of being kinapped by anyone but David Bowie.
Top 10 Old People I’d Like To Date
White hair, cigar, bow tie AND brandy snifter? It’s like I’ve died and gone to where this guy lives!
Top 10 Best Outfits In Disney Films
That cape! That staff! That lipstick! Those horns! That dragon transformation! What kind of game are you playing, Millificent? You’re like the Lady Gaga of the Disney world.
10 Things You Need To Stop Putting On Instagram
Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Also, why? I don’t understand. Everywhere I go on Instagram, feet. That shot, of you, clearly point the camera down, at your feet. You in oxfords. You in flats. You barefoot. You on pavement. You on grass. You on carpet. Why?