What To Do When Your Partner Hates Your Writing
Never read it out loud at home again and rescind the open invite to your public readings. Is one single sympathetic ear too much to ask in the terrifying world of writing and publication?
I Am A Dumb Blonde
I nodded like I knew what she meant, like I was saying amen sister in my head, but I wasn’t in danger of anyone asking to have sex with me for another six years or so.
Dawson’s Creek, Revisited
And what exactly are you implying? That I’m completely devoid of any self-worth, that my subservience was the attraction? Of all people, Pacey…
10 Lessons I’ve Learned From Living In Five Cities
The time you spent in a place doesn’t go away when you leave. You spent time there, things happened, you connected with people. It’s over now? It’s OK — it still happened. Moving on doesn’t diminish its value.
Questions For Young Writers
Did you get anything published when you were 18 and now you feel embarrassed because it reads like nothing you currently write? Why were you in such a hurry? Why should you feel embarrassed? Don’t you think it’s funny to share embarrassing moments? Why should no one think you’re capable of making a mistake?
What Would F. Scott Fitzgerald Say About Jersey Shore?
Surely you read The Great Gatsby. You at least PRETENDED to read The Great Gatsby. In fact, you probably have it listed as one of your favorite books on Facebook. First of all, liar.
5 Things I Learned From Participating In Clinical Trials
For me, clinical trials were the Affordable Care Act. Actually, more like the No Cost Care Act. For no money and no insurance, I got regular checkups, checkups I’d never get for myself otherwise.
Ways I’ve Failed At Life In Portland, Oregon
I once heard an actual Portlander say (and I quote, as evidenced by the upcoming quotation marks): “If it’s yellow, let it mellow.” This trite rhyme and disgustingly hippy tendency in an effort to conserve water did not make me vomit or scream, but it did make me turn up my nose and just feel generally sad and grossed out.
Properly Suppressing Your Gender Dysphoria
Don’t go to water parks. Don’t hate your swimsuit. Don’t like hers. Don’t dream of futuristic water slides that can change your gender.
Apology For Bad Sex
This is a letter of apology for the terrible sexual intercourse we’re about to have. I just wanted to take a moment to accept full responsibility and provide several philosophical justifications for a night that you and your friends will undoubtedly laugh about for years to come.