Saying Goodbye To Abuse, And Hello To A Life Worth Living
She was the little person in my ear, constantly telling me how horrible I am, at EVERYTHING. I needed her out of my life.
She was the little person in my ear, constantly telling me how horrible I am, at EVERYTHING. I needed her out of my life.
But now as you wait to give up your child for theirs, with him right by your side, you feel the all-encompassing force of the love you held for him, slowly metastasize into hate.
What I am is just an average girl that would have given you the world.
He never flat out called me any names. He never humiliated me in front of my friends or family. He never refused to communicate with me. And he would never threaten me.
I did not survive.
Learning to live without you has been like asking a fish to learn how to breathe oxygen. I drown a bit each day. I gasp for air. I beg to be returned to the ocean, to be anywhere that might mean I’m with you.
Emotional affairs are funny things, because they sneak up on you. I’ve never heard anyone say they went out in search of one. But when two unhappy hearts meet and connect over the ways that they think they need to be fed, there is rarely any turning back.
When we’re together, it feels Christmas Day. All twinkly lights and gift giving, you know? Trevor came from a broken family so holidays were always difficult for him. That’s what I like about you. You’re…uncomplicated.
I can’t help but wonder if you still think about me, whether you eventually spoke up for me, and whether we will end up as strangers after everything we’ve shared.
I wondered: What if I’m actually NOT queer enough to claim the label?