Wife Material Vol. 4: Mila Kunis

I wanna like, club her over the head and drag her back to my apartment so she can be my World of Warcraft-playing, poker-loving, sexy wife.

Object Permanence

“It’s a sad story,” you say. “The sooner you realize that, the easier it’ll be for you.”

Ron Swanson’s Top 5 Most Ron Swanson-y Moments

Frustrated by the state of his steak, Ron tells a blank-faced restaurant employee to bring him all of the bacon and eggs the establishment has. Then, he delivers the most sincere, Ron Swanson-y line of all.