Your real-life sexual orientation is moot. You deserve the same respect — and career opportunities — provided to other actors. Here’s my evidence: You’re consistently confusing the crap out of my lady hormones.
The walls and furniture become my whipping boys. I need him to see me, always, even if it’s just to scrape me out from underneath his fingernails. “Are you ever going to actually hit me?” I ask.
Do you think Ross and Rachel would have happened on ?Friends? if they?d all just gotten down to biz-nass in a big heap on day one? No way! Because that weird tension would have evaporated and everyone could just go on being friends without this “will-they-won?t-they” nonsense.
It’s no fun telling the Dunkin Donuts employee she makes a “damn fine cup of coffee” when all she does is give me a blank stare back.
In the past, to appease the fandom desires of their kids, my parents have: attended midnight screenings of all LOTR movies, seen four *NSync concerts, dressed up like the Teletubbies, driven two hours to a book signing by the cast of RENT and DVRed every episode of Ryan Seacrest’s daily talk show.
That’s one thing I’ve noticed while indulging this melancholy: the best songs for weepy introspection always, always, always reference coffee. Below, the best “sad-coffee” playlist in the world. Put it on, wait for it to drizzle outside, brew a fresh pot and curl up in a window sill. It’s time to stare out into the street, sip some joe and feel super sad.
I stood alone in the back. You weren’t doing material; just riffing and talking to the small crowd. There was a spotlight on you because of the stage lighting, but I would have imagined one anyway.
Benedict Cumberbatch is the star of the BBC show Sherlock and also of this one reoccurring dream I have where we ride unicorns off into the rainbow mist and make out under a shooting star.
My friend Jason suggests that maybe people didn’t react or help because the man in my story was clearly homeless. Maybe they thought he didn’t matter. What if it was my hand — that of a young white woman — that’d gotten caught? Would the conductor have noticed faster? Would people have responded with concern?
Hey Judy-Booty-Bo-Booty-Banana-Fana-Fo-Footy! It’s your agent calling. Lots of “dead girl” and “waitress” roles after ‘Love & Money’ was cancelled, for no reason! I just don’t get it! A TV show about a penthouse-dwelling socialite falling for a blue collar guy? The premise was so fresh!