Instructions For Getting Over A Slump
Read that book no one asked you to read. It’s not on a single top ten list. It will not give you any talking points at parties. Nothing to flaunt on the subway. You are boring and it doesn’t matter.
I Have To Tell You
I want to hug you again, hug you into a puddle, hug you into a tear, hug you into a gravity missile, hug you into a biscuit, hug you into a pile of cake crumbs on the kitchen floor.
Confessions Of A Jew Who Sings In Church For Money
Jesus saves.
14 Lesser-Known Cures For The Winter Blues
10. Go ahead and eat a space heater.
What My First Real Job Taught Me About Changing The World
It was the first thing he asked me in the interview: “You can get salad, right?”
How Do You Come Out To A Spambot?
Email spam might be the last refuge for shameless heteronormativity in our great wide e-fucked world.
How I Quit The Bean And Became A Tea Person
I was krumping to the beat of Mr. Coffee.
A Homoerotic Essay About Working In A Supermarket
In the summer of 2005, there were no hot dogs in a Super Fresh in suburban Philadelphia that had not been touched by an eighteen-year-old who really liked penises.
16 Lesser-Known Ways To Handle A Crush
5. Ignore them. Wonder why they don’t notice you ignoring them.
Some Weird Wi-Fi Networks I’ve Connected To
For some reason, my iPhone asks if I would like to connect to a network called “HOME” whenever I am in one of Manhattan’s most expensive neighborhoods.