Here’s Your Existentialist Essay For The Day
You are just particles of energy, pieces and pieces of divinity lumped together from God knows what.
I Was Spammed By A Dead Man
“DO YOU WANT TO BE IN MILLION OF WOMMENS SCREENSAVERS?”
15 Signs You Were An English Major (Advanced Edition!)
English majors. Paperback-sniffing, semicolon-slinging, hairy-hearted mystics of the collegiate pantheon.
15 Beginnings Of An Essay I Will Never Write
Persistence is severely underrated.
13 Ways To Stop Yourself From Giving Up
Forget about your goals. Goals are for complainers.
The “Let’s Grab Dinner!” Text
Don’t you hear it? Literally every time you text me, my iPhone plays a feeble recording of a death knell.
13 Things Only Kids Who Did A Cappella In College Will Understand
Speaking of men with matching blazers, there’s nothing as majestically awkward as twelve male Ivy Leaguers dancing around while faintly intoning some indie pop gem.
On The Things We Learn In High School
It’s amazing how many things we learn in school that hide themselves in our heads, like stingrays in the sand, until something happens and they come to the surface.
An Interview With My Body Regarding The Release Of My New eBook
Sometimes we fuck ourselves up. Sometimes we sell ourselves. Sometimes we get blown up. Sometimes we get put back together.
Why I Miss Being In The Closet
I was in that closet for ten years, and they were the best years of my life.