Thought.is

I can’t go out. I don’t want to go out. Oh God, why did I get myself into this? How am I going to do this tonight? Jesus, what if my ex-boyfriend is there? I’m screwed.

You’ve read about depression. You know you probably have it, but you don’t believe in it. Not enough serotonin, they say, you have a deficiency. You’re broken. Maybe meds would fix you but most of the time you’re fine.

Whether Ron and Sam are currently together. $1 off on Easy-mac/ Gushers/ Shark Bites/ Capri Sun. Whether my high school prom queen has a boyfriend.

The singer — known for hits like “Hot Stuff,” “Bad Girl,” “She Works Hard for the Money,” “On the Radio,” I could probably go on forever or at least another 100 characters — was a five-time Grammy winner, mother, and wife.

They stared at me as if antennas were growing out of the top of my head… just completely baffled. They had never even heard of white privilege, so they surely had never recognized the role it played in their lives.

The friend you inexplicably need to make out with, tonight. The kid who used to name his bongs and was universally regarded as “too short” by the female population of your high school is now a well-spoken, well-dressed, “not too short” dude with an interesting job and what the hell are we even talking about, just make out with me.

Pop Rocks: Pro: Classmates fawn over you when they’re in your mouth. Con: Head explodes if mixed with soda. Victory Candy Cigarettes: Pro: Look like a boss. Con: Head shakes and eye rolls from strangers.