You become “that person” who shows strangers pictures of your puppy because you just feel that the world needs to see, fully appreciate, and be irreparably jealous of this cuteness that you get to come home to every day.
Pocahontas makes you feel really inadequate.
Windblown elegance is not reality. Messy, fluffy, poodle-looking hair stuck in my sunglasses is.
Todd’s filthy little tale has been read over a billion times online — yes a billion. She’s signed a six-figure book deal with Simon & Schuster, created an entire line of jewelry centered around the series, and recently sold the rights to a film version to Paramount. Not too shabby for a girl writing sex scenes about her favorite band member on her iPhone.
The Dollar Menu is the perfect way to get an insane amount of food for next to nothing. And then there’s the added bonus of being able to roll around in the wrappers like you’ve just had some dude “make it rain” rap-video-style on you.
2. You’re hungry.
I really need to watch less TV.
I’m sitting at my desk in the second grade, working on a paper person garland. Snip. My scissors are cutting across the dotted lines I have so, so carefully outlined to make the perfect hand-holding figure that was demonstrated to us minutes ago.
Aside from the fact that we have a song for everything…of course. Also we promise to take it easy on the…
Oh you’re outgoing? That is code for faaaaaaaalaming.