5 Things It Sucks To Realize
As awesome as it can be to think so, you can’t “win at life.” Not even if you’ve got tiger blood (??). No one’s keeping score and besides, we all know how it ends.
Notes On Majoring In Humanities
Just going to class (or not) and getting A’s in stuff will not do anything for you, I promise. You’re paying out the ass for this education, and if you really do want to be there, why not make it worth the time and money? Just do stuff. Seriously.
I Want To Stay Young
Well. I only hope that one day I will stop making stupid mistakes in favor of educated ones, and be able to plan things, and operate a rice cooker. I always burn rice when I boil it so I hope I figure out that last one pretty soon. But even when I have all those things down, I still want to stay young.
The Best Times You’ll Have With Your College Roommate
You’ll take blurry pictures together and put them up on the fridge, ask each other’s opinions about what to wear for a first date or a night out. You’ll meet each other’s girlfriends, boyfriends, parents and one night stands; you’ll see all these people and discuss them in the kitchen the next day.
Summer In Suburbia
Bright stretchy leopard-print shirts for $2.99 puncture the greyspace. Scattered kiosks with bored dark-skinned men offering cheap ear piercings and tongue rings topped with spiky neon koosh balls. Stick-legged girls with too-bronze foundation and meticulously straightened highlighted hair. Acne-scarred boys who smell like pot.
Why You Keep Coming Back
Because you’re addicted. Because you know exactly what Edward meant when he called Bella his own “personal brand of heroin” and you’re ashamed to admit you feel that way.
The Proper Way To Argue
Too often, people will make emotional arguments while trying to get you to see their side of things. But this is to be avoided, as only weak-willed earthlings make emotional arguments.
Expressions Of Modern Day Ennui
A clock keeps ticking somewhere. Two clocks. They’re ticking at different times. Tick-tick. Tick-tick. Tick-tick. The noise becomes unbearable. You can’t find the second clock.
Stop Freaking Out About Weirdness On The Internet
In customary self-indulgent Tumblr fashion, the two bloggers’ bios were overflowing with adjectives and descriptions (“FAAB,” “objectum sexual,” “transabled” “demiplatonic,” “aromantic,” etc. — you get the picture), all put there to give the reader an idea of their fascinating “otherness.”
Questions For My Future Love
Do you know the idea of marriage makes me feel claustrophobic? Do you know that when I say “yes,” I want to be absolutely sure? Do you realize there’s no guarantee that will happen?