The Dos And Don’ts Of Tattooing
You’re not just paying for a service; you’re commissioning a work of art — the goal is not to get the best deal but to get something worth paying for.
What Your Favorite Alcohol Says About You, Part 2
While it’s true that tequila can mysteriously sneak up on the best of us at the end of the night, you actually like to start off with tequila, which automatically makes you a masochistic weirdo. However, it also makes you impressively goal-oriented: you don’t drink to get drunk, you drink to get cray, and how are you supposed to get there by sipping on weak ass cocktails for three hours?
Being Naked When You’re Sober Is Hard, Damn It
And the main reason I’ve been avoiding it is because being naked sober is hard, damn it. At least for me it is — I still have all the body issues I had as a teenager, only now I’m able to identify them.
When My Brother Got Cancer
Rilke wrote that we all carry our death inside of us, that it grows, develops, changes with us until it’s strong enough to take hold. My brother’s death was unfurling like a dragon, fast and aggressive. It was coded in his DNA.
What I Can Do When We Break Up
I can make myself sick in every way I can think of. Drink too much, vomit bile, mute my thoughts with downers; burn through countless packs of cigarettes to keep my hands from shaking, curl up close my eyes and rub out the dull headache.
A Letter To My 16-Year-Old Self
In a way, though, I know you didn’t really feel nervous. Sure you felt kind of out of place without a plan but I have a feeling you didn’t want one anyway. You realized early on that plans are more like suggestions, you can plan all you want but in each crucial moment luck and improvisation are your saviors.
What Your Favorite Alcohol Says About You
Opinionated and abrasive, you go out of your way to make sure your worldviews conflict with everyone else’s. If you do happen to agree with a point someone else makes, you will find some minute detail to disagree on. For some reason you hate vodka with a passion, but you do realize gin is essentially juniper-flavored vodka, right?
Things My Grandmother Taught Me
This is a woman who was a single mother in a time when being one was sacrilegious, a blue-eyed blonde who spoke enough flirty German to rescue her father from the march to Majdanek, who sawed her own stilettos in half because her daughter wanted a pair of heels and who risked falling out of trees because she wanted to hang birdhouses.
I’m Still Not Ready To See You
Watching you do these things to someone else will feel like a weird replay of my own past, only with someone else cast as me and I’ll just be watching it, confused and displaced and feeling too big for my chair.
How To Have An Awesome Single Valentine’s Day
Relationships are overrated. Commitment is overrated. Romance is overrated. Wine and chocolate are overrated. Here’s how to rock it out on Valentine’s Day for those of us who are single and DGAF.