“C’mon, let’s go out…” your friend says.
“But it’s so cold out……..” you whine.
“Rachel it’s July.”
“But I’m so tiiiirreedddd….”
“But this morning you said that you wa–”
“SAID SHMAID I SAY A LOT OF THINGS I DON’T MEAN.”
In the time of Pope and Swift, satire was their hope for a promising future; and it was the gift of being able to speak their mind — albeit through their own contrived, cunning, code-like language. And it’s because of this that a lazy and all-around poor attempt at satire is so offensive.
3. Instead of a plank, stand in line at a bank!
2. IDGAF.
In the latest of “Bitch Stole My Look”: a Hungarian woman named Angel Barta has come forth claiming that Marc Jacobs, former creative director of Louis Vuitton, has stolen all of her ideas for his clothes and campaigns.
2. You’ve hit 500 followers on Twitter.
3. Younger siblings are not automatically assigned as role models.
“I think I’m falling in [heart emoji],” a man recently texted an acquaintance of mine. And does it not sum up our obliteration of the written word beautifully?
You own eight pairs of loafers and you can’t remember purchasing one of them. You go into your closet to get dressed and you come out, every time, looking like Mason Disick.
Why is it that some men can’t have a job and a girlfriend at once? Why, in these situations, does a guy see his girlfriend as a burden rather than a support system; as a distraction rather than a source of comfort or solace?