In searching for the root cause of this impulse, it’s impossible not to bring up instant gratification. For, the self-lacerating relationship between the self and procrastination seems akin to the detrimental relationship between the self and pursuing instant gratification.
12. I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter.
Whereas some people simply enjoy cooking, you, Jewish grandma-in-training, are aroused by it. The more people you have to cook for, the better. You’ve even suggested bringing some matzah balls to bed with you and your boyfriend, just to spice things up a smidgen.
“Hush, dear,” he said. “No one must know I’m here. You see, I came to you because I heard you’re the best. The Golden Globes are tonight and, well, I want to re-emerge into the movie industry with a bang—no! A bun! A man bun, is what I meant.”
4. Mel Gibson.
The solution here—so simple, so easy—is just to hire black models. Don’t make a show of it, just integrate them the same way you integrate white models.
You are perpetually working on your novella.
2. The faint cry of a baby.
4. He’s incapable of lying, or grand acts of deceit.
14. Kept a small photo of Audrey Hepburn in my apartment.