Finally it was our turn to play. The guy who drove the pickup truck walked over to the ref and counted out something like five hundred bucks. “What the hell?” I asked one of my teammates.
Everyone you know is dead. All of your friends are dead. Both of your parents are dead. Your brothers, your sisters, basically anybody that you ever held dear is long gone.
As I hopped up the stairs, the sound got louder, and when I made it up, there was a puddle of water growing outward from the bathroom door. I opened the door and the toilet was overflowing.
You know what the stupidest word in the English language is? Plethora. You know what the second stupidest word is? Millennial.
I hadn’t been on the job for very long, a month maybe, and yet it was all I could think about, operating the big crane.
Are you constantly scratching your head wondering how the rest of the adult world makes it look so easy? Maybe you don’t have your shit together. Here are some signs.
Don’t hand in the test. Just pretend to work at your desk for a while, and when everyone starts handing theirs in, you just leave.
Everybody’s always so excited for warm weather. But not me. Why? Because I hate wearing shorts.
Did you see the new Avengers movie this weekend? I saw it. It was cool. Was it a good movie? I can’t be sure.
You’re dating an environmentalist, which is a pretty big catch-all label, sure. But environmentalists care, they really, really care. That’s the whole point.