This sounds like a New Yorker’s worst nightmare–an annoying man coming up to you on the street and asking you to make physical contact? Try it in Indiana, dude. I’m on my way to Whole Foods and can’t deal.
You just look at them reading in bed one night and your whole body gets filled with this weird warm gooey feeling (like brain semen).
Talk to women about things they have no interest in ever hearing.
You could NEVER leave those amazing New York springs! They go from April 12th at 12:30 all the way to 6:30.
It was important to make my presence known at Interview so I could set myself apart from the other interns—one of whom I swear to God was South African royalty.
Try to live your life with ONE HUNDO PERCENT honesty. When you do this, every experience just opens up to you.
It’s hard for me to explain this to you in a way that will make one hundo percent sense, but I’ll try. Until recently, maybe in the last year or so, I didn’t understand that life could be good.
My last stop was Simon & Schuster. There, I met with a cute, charming gay guy and a warm, kind, straight man whose face was 70% beard and glasses. Together, we feasted on LOLs until we all ODed and had to go to Beth Israel from a LOL overdose. The next week, they offered me a book deal and I was ecstatic.
This is the nature of being in your twenties. It’s nearly impossible to have all the boxes checked, unless you’re one of those RARE BREED OF TYPE-A PSYCHOS THAT DOES.
I text him the next morning, “Nice to meet you.” He writes back an emoji of a red balloon.