Based On His Chinese Zodiac This Is The Type Of Fuckboy He Is



1996, 1984, 1972, 1960

The gym rat.

This will be the guy who wants to plan dates at the gym and try to talk you into meal prep. All the while you’re hiding the donut you ate for breakfast and telling him it was a shake. The only thing he has to add to a conversation is about workouts.


1997, 1985, 1973, 1961

The one not ready for a relationship right now.

He’s never going to be ready because he doesn’t want to be.


1998, 1986, 1974, 1962

The one who calls you the wrong name in bed.

He plays it off like it didn’t actually happen but it did actually happen and there’s an awkward silence after where you’d rather be anywhere else.


1999, 1987, 1975, 1963

The one who tries to convince you a threesome is a good idea.

He’s set on having a threesome and he thinks you’re the girl who likes him enough to say yes to it.


2000, 1988, 1976, 1964

The one who makes future promises.

That date that never happens. The friends you never meet. The plans he constantly falls through on.


2001, 1989, 1977, 1965

The one also trying to get with your friend.

All the while she’s telling you what’s going down and you’re just watching him be a complete and total idiot.


1990, 1978, 1966

The one who is self-absorbed.

He says things about himself and you just know no matter how much you might learn to tolerate him he’ll never care about you as much as he loves himself.


1991, 1979, 1967

The one your parents love.

This is the worst type of fuckboy. The one who wins your parents over and is playing some fucked up social media game of liking your pictures. Ignored your texts. Just doing everything to mess with your head and you can’t even say anything to your parents because you’re pretty sure they like him more than you.


1992, 1980, 1968

The Narcissist.

This is the person who uses the word I so much you can almost put the phone down and walk away and he’s probably still talking about himself.


1993, 1981, 1969

The one who sends dick pics.

You suddenly open your phone and there’s just this dick sitting there and you still have not grasped why guys do this. You don’t want that shit. You don’t even know how to respond. You’re getting brought back to your college days where you dated boys not men. And here they are again.


1994, 1982, 1970

The mommy’s boy.

He turns to his mom for everything. And regardless of how wonderful you might be, she’s never going to really like you.


1995, 1983, 1971

The one who will ghost you.

When you have plans and you confirm them only he doesn’t answer and you never hear from him again and you don’t even want an explanation you just wish you had that time back you wasted.