Before You And After You


Before you, there was indifference.

I didn’t know what love actually was. It was just a blurred idea for all I knew. Love consists of darkness, of staying with someone that was just bad for you in every aspect. It was holding on to a facade because of an investment, because of a promise that was no longer there.

Love was choosing someone because of the flowers and gifts when you should have known that wasn’t real effort, not even close. Love was sacrificing every ounce of your morality and your values just for a boy that couldn’t choose you, even if he tried. Love was neglecting your own self-worth and letting a selfish boy use you for your body, for lust. It was letting someone walk all over the boundaries you had once set for yourself.

Love was tolerating how badly he treated you while still believing in his capability to be good. What you should have known is that he was good, but he just wasn’t good for you. Love was a painful and self-destructive memory, and you actually thought that love was supposed to destroy your soul, and that’s why you stayed.

However, love isn’t supposed to tear you to the ground. It isn’t supposed to require you to give up everything that comprises your individuality just for a relationship to work. But that was before, before love came with a sense of awakening and transformation.

When I met you, what seemed like just an idea became my reality.

You had the purest soul of anyone I had ever met in my life, and it scared me. It felt surreal to find someone who matched my soul and my love language without demanding anything. You already knew how to love me even before I said anything.

When I laid eyes on you, you made me laugh in the first few seconds we met, and I already knew you were going to capture my heart. You had so much love for God, and you were filled with the knowledge of His grace, and that’s how I knew that you were the one God sent to love me with every fiber of your being.

Loving you was the most beautiful experience I have ever felt. It felt like every piece of my life was falling in the right order and you were the last piece for everything to make sense. Loving you felt like coming home to someone who not only knew but owned my soul for the longest time.

You are by far the greatest miracle and greatest blessing that God has ever given me, and I know with certain conviction that God put us in each other’s paths to love each other and to take each other for the rest of eternity.