Being An Introvert Is Not An Excuse To Be An Asshole


You’re shy and somewhat quiet. Big crowds make you a little uneasy and tired and overwhelmed. You’re not a fan of being the center of attention—having everyone’s eyes on you is anxiety-inducing and makes you want to run out of the room.

Often you turn inward, continually evaluating and analyzing your own thoughts.

You would rather sit across from one friend than be at a party of 20.

You relish the time you have alone.

You are an introvert.

You thrive in solitude and silence and crave moments of quiet contemplation, and that’s part of what makes you who you are.

There’s nothing wrong with being an introvert, just like there’s nothing wrong with being an extrovert. That would be like saying there’s something wrong with being a leftie and that everyone should be right-handed, which would be ridiculous. But just because you’re an introvert doesn’t mean you get a pass if you act like an asshole.

Just because you’re an introvert doesn’t mean that your loved ones will be hurt if you don’t show up for them. They get it; you don’t like crowds. They understand that you don’t like being the center of attention. They know that you love your alone time. But your distaste for groups or lengthy conversations doesn’t mean that you’re absolved from putting in the effort and attention that it takes to cultivate a friendship. There’s always a way to show up for others. There’s always time to show others that you care.

Using your preference for intimate social gatherings as an excuse to not show up for the ones you hold dear is not fair.

It’s not nice, either.

You’re an introvert, but that doesn’t mean that you’re not able to connect with humans.

Maybe that means you send birthday cards more than you opt for a FaceTime salutation.

Maybe that means you plan ahead and schedule that intimate dinner with friends.

Maybe that means you text them instead of call.

Maybe showing up means something entirely different to you. Either way, you are perfectly capable of finding ways to let the ones you love know how much you love them, especially in these modern times when you don’t need a carrier pigeon or a dial-up modem.

There are plenty of ways to let the ones you love know how much you care. Not doing so has nothing to do with being an introvert—it’s an excuse to be lazy with your friendships, and there is no excuse for that.