“Big League Chew” — Conversations over Stolen Food, Pt. 3 of 4
By Anonymous
6:15 p.m. Friday, January 12
Union Square W.F.
J: This afternoon Amanda offered me gum, and I hadn’t chewed gum in a long, long time. I ran through my history with chewing gum. When my sister and I played whiffle-ball on the front driveway, using our garage-door as backstop, I’d pack roughly a third…
A: Big League Chew?
J: of a Big League Chew pouch.
A: Those boys always seemed suckers.
J: Oh sure, I was a sucker living in St. Louis County.
A: Identifying your wad with professional players’?
J: Exactly.
A: Imitative foods embarrassed me.
J: I’d grown especially fond of grape, then orange-flavored…
A: Oh.
J: which I know sound trashy.
A: Grape often looked the trashiest, especially with soda.
J: I never drank grape soda. I’m saying I’d chew grape gum—which tasted delicious at the time.
A: Yet…
J: Anyway: I started panicking on the train, imagining gum I didn’t spit out, but…
A: Swallowed? Gross.
J: I began to wonder if wads, some rather large, sit lodged in my intestines.