Can I Come Over, In Case I'm Gonna Die Or Something


The first CDs I ever bought in my life were Sixteen Stone, by Bush, and The Colour and the Shape, by Foo Fighters. I was very excited about it, too, I couldn’t wait to get home and play them. I liked that “Glycerine” song, you guys remember that one? People just think of him as Gwen Stefani’s husband now, but he was on the radio quite a lot back in the day.

I also remember buying Maybe You’ve Been Brainwashed Too by New Radicals early on. That’s a zany little album. He never made another one for some reason. I guess he was like “alienated by the music industry” or whatever. I wish he’d make another one.

First movie I ever saw in theaters was The Little Mermaid. First live-action movie was Little Women. I cried. You could put that on now and I’d probably cry again. It’s very affecting stuff. It’s got Winona Ryder in it, she’s good, and you’ve got Christian Bale, and it’s all heartbreaking cause she doesn’t marry Laurie even though she obviously should marry Laurie, and she ends up with that guy from In Treatment… Anyways, yeah, I love that movie to this day. Also it has Claire Danes doing those crying faces, she really knows how to cry that Claire Danes…

Let’s see, uhhh, band-wise… First band I was really into was Third Eye Blind. I remember I went to see them in concert but my dad had to come because I was too young to be out by myself, and I remember some yahoo spilled beer on my head from the balcony, and uh, the pretty dark-haired girl from school was at the concert. I was attracted to her, or at least I thought I was. To this day I’m very into Italian girls, girls with Italian names, very into that. I remember I tried to get into Death Cab For Cutie because she was into them.

Did I mention books? I used to read books from my parents’ bookshelf on my hands and knees, is what I’d do, I’d sit by the shelf, and it was there I secretly read, as if getting away with something, The Catcher in the Rye and The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn.

In high school there were a lot of girls who were into like The Ataris and The Weakerthans and Dashboard Confessional and stuff like that. I wasn’t really into those bands. Like I literally never had a MySpace ever, if that gives you an idea. I’ve never pierced myself anywhere or dyed my hair ever. I’m a pretty boring, lame guy, I guess, Jesus Christ. I’ve always been a snob, it’s pretty terrible, I’m not proud of it. I did have a skateboarding phase, I’ll admit that, I was really terrible at it though and broke my wrist skating down like a pathetic little incline. I’m not much of an athlete to be honest with you, I’m like above-average fast, that’s about it.

I don’t know. A hot music-related moment I can remember from high school was my girlfriend at the time, well OK, it wasn’t all that hot, because we were both scared to have sex and so were just like frantically dry-humping each other, but anyways I remember she put on Yeah Yeah Yeahs while we were making out, that was pretty good…

In college, I don’t know, there’s no segues for this, I don’t know, so in college, the guy across the hall from me in my dorm freshman year, he had really long curly hair I remember, and he introduced me to of Montreal. That band’s real good.

A girl I dated in college said she used to sit in a closet and cry thinking about Kurt Cobain killing himself.

Another thing about her, one night she called me at 4 in the morning after she’d been out all night with her old high school friends, she’d done a lot of cocaine and she’d never done it before, she asked if she could come over “in case I’m gonna like die or something,” she said, and she came over, and after we had sex that’s when she played me “Postcards from Italy” by Beirut. I had never heard it before, and I said right away, “How have I never heard this before!”

I tried to write honestly how I felt about her one time and I showed it to a friend who was in grad school, a poet, and he said I was being kind of creepy, that it was creepy how I wrote about her. I didn’t think it was creepy.

I guess what I want to do is, I want to write about a relationship as it’s happening and never publish any of it.

Or what I really want is to lose my virginity in high school.

I don’t know, I guess there won’t be any more excitement.

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