Choose Yourself First
By Arihat East
How can I expect anyone to honor their word to me if I’m not going to honor my word to myself? Focusing on my commitment to others before I focus on me is a sure way to burnout and encourage others to take more than I have to give. It’s a side effect of people pleasing where prioritizing others feels like the better thing to do, but truly in my heart I know it’s not.
I know that nothing works without integrity. Integrity is doing the right thing even when no one is looking. The funny thing is that I AM looking, and I’ve watched myself do dumb shit with a trade-off that wasn’t even a trade-off. I’ve sabotaged myself for foolish things because of I wanted immediate results. I neglected my fitness, personal, and writing goals. I was creating a force field around myself because I wasn’t ready to do my work. It has always been easier to tell others what’s wrong instead of focusing on what I need to fix for myself.
It is critical to create boundaries so I can learn what I need to elevate, be accountable to myself. Being in the practice of self-care also helps me to teach others how to treat me. I will not give my energy to people who cannot reciprocate. I am also learning to honor closed doors. Being accountable to myself is asking myself one simple question “Is this elevation or repetition?”
I will never stop learning myself because it’s dangerous to do so. This road of life is a constant test of evolving or repeating and we are the ones in control. There isn’t a person on this planet that could help or stop me from elevating without me allowing that to happen. Why is elevation even necessary, though? It is about love. Once I can love myself so much, I can love humanity so much. Love is the highest form of elevation.