Congratulations On Your Apple-Picking!


You two are perfect together, you and apple-picking. I know you have been waiting a long time for this day.  You’ve dreamt about it since you were a young girl. You imagined what it would be like when it was finally your turn to be the one picking apples amongst a vivid autumnal backdrop: the sun-speckled deciduous leaves, the gnarled mythical trees, the cider smoke rising into the hills filled to the brim with foliage—oh, the foliage!

Now your day is here. Everything you’ve done this year, nay, the last ten years has been leading up to this moment.  It’s been a thrill coming along for the ride. Looking at you today, I know the endless crash dieting to fit into your apple-picking sweater was worth it.  You look beautiful; you’re absolutely glowing in those dark washed jeans and old leather boots.

It was quite the journey getting here, right? Remember back when you wondered if you would ever even qualify for a Zipcar account?  You were just a woman with a Metrocard and a gauzy, bucolic dream.  Who would’ve thought we’d actually end up here, in this orchard, picking apples the way you’d so longed to do.

This is a funny story, and I know you won’t mind if I tell this one today. Before Instagram existed, remember how every Friday we would meet up for a glass of rum and Diet Coke, or some wine shots? You constantly worried—even if you found someone to go apple-picking (haha Mark!)—HOW would you possibly share photos of the day with former co-workers, tech savvy aunts, or people who went to your high school?  I was always like, “Don’t worry, girl! I’m sure by the time you find the right person to apple-pick with, all of that will be solved—including a way to make it look like getting to the orchard involved time-traveling back to the 1970s. Have another wine shot!”

Anyway, I’m just so glad that we are close enough for me to share in your special day. On this auspicious occasion, I know you have a ton of people to thank—especially your apple-picking planner—what a gem!  As one of your best friends, I know you couldn’t have possibly achieved this level of foliage without her.

Thanks to your family for raising the kind of person who understands the importance of seasonal revelry. These days, everyone just wants to eat all the treats without doing any of the excruciatingly choreographed outings! Also, don’t forget to thank yourself for finding this place. This orchard is like something out of a storybook. Are those pumpkin-spiced pumpkins?!

Of course, there is another person you have to thank. Mark, thank you so much for being willing to hold that heavy-ass bag of apples, smile in literally thousands of photos and, most of all, drive the Zipcar despite not having a valid New York State license or being on the insurance. I’m sure that won’t result in any problems. Today is just one of those magical days where nothing goes wrong.  So go on girl, you’ve earned it. Here’s to you and to dreams coming true. Congratulations on your apple-picking!