Date Someone Who Challenges Your Perspective


“What is there to do in the day?”

That’s what he asked me. Being a person who preferred the day to the night, his question threw me off.

“There’s a lot to do in the day.” I replied.

Only now, I was unsure.

What was there to do in the day? My routine consisted of going to work during the week and hiking or shopping on the weekends. Nothing completely out of the ordinary.

However, his words continued to rattle in my brain, until I finally had to ask another day dweller. Then another. And another.

Everyone I asked had the exact same response; “There’s a lot to do in the day.”

I went back to him and told him how the simplicity of his question completely unhinged my world.

My perspective changed.

So many of us continue to gravitate towards people who we share an inordinate amount of similarities with, yet remain unhappy. What does that say about us? About our dating life and the culture itself? Are we so conditioned into finding a partner that matches our every thought and move, or are we scared that if we venture outside of our comfort zones, we won’t be able to handle the challenge?

Maybe we have become so accustomed to our own way of thinking, that when we encounter someone with a varying point of view, our immediate response is to reject them.

Instead of running from those who have differing opinions and ideas, we should embrace them. Date the opposite zodiac sign. Find someone who prefers tea to coffee.

Explore a perspective that is a complete and total contrast to your own.

Being consistent within our dating patterns, we stay with people, because they reflect our likeness and morals. We stay in similar situations, repeating old habits and mistakes, and never learn how to develop into the people we are meant to be. Dating someone who is a mirror to the shadows we’re afraid to confront, grants us the opportunity to learn from our past. To break the rituals and routines we fell prey to.

We learn to love and accept both our darkness and our light.

Is that not the beauty of life? To find someone whose shapes and edges don’t perfectly align with ours? To find someone who isn’t a replica of who we used to be? To learn that we aren’t puzzle pieces to be completed, but intrinsically and unequivocally whole by ourselves?

The joy of life is to keep learning and growing and to keep our hearts and minds open to new possibilities. So yes, date someone who believes more in science than religion. Date someone who is more emotionally vulnerable than most. Date someone who has a different idea of what love is. Date someone who makes you question every truth you’ve ever known and challenges you to go where you’ve never gone.

After all, opposites do attract.