Date Someone You Can Get Drunk With


Don’t date someone who turns into a complete asshole after a few beers. If you don’t like them drunk, you shouldn’t be with them sober. Unless they’re straight edge and wouldn’t dream of picking up a drink, then it’s crucial for you to date someone you can get drunk with.

Date someone who will help you keep your balance after you’ve had a few too many drinks and are stumbling toward the bathroom.

Date someone who understands you can get a little loud when you’re drunk, but finds it more adorable than embarrassing.

Date someone who will stop you from making “drunk plans” with friends of friends that you know you’re going to regret in the morning.

Date someone who remembers what brand of vodka always makes you sick and will avoid buying bottles of it, even if it’s something they enjoy drinking.

Date someone who would never use being wasted as an excuse to cheat on you or to flirt with other women.

Date someone who will let you sip on their drink when you finish yours early.

Date someone who will remind you to take your contacts out before you go to bed, so you don’t wake up with a massive headache in the morning.

Date someone who will offer to pick up the tab, even if they know you’re going to refuse and ask to split the bill.

Date someone who would never dream of letting you drive drunk, because they’d be crushed if something ever happened to you.

Date someone who will help carry you to bed, but won’t take the opportunity to try to fuck you, because they know you can’t give consent.

Date someone who will hold your hair back as you puke, and won’t freak out if you accidentally get vomit on them.

Date someone who will push you to eat and drink water, even if you’re not in the mood for any of it, because they don’t want you to have a horrible hangover in the morning.

Date someone who will be your beer pong partner, even if you suck at the game and are guaranteed to make them lose.

Date someone who will go along with your adventurous drunken ideas, like singing karaoke or going dancing.

Date someone who will get wasted with you on weekends, but would never pressure you to go out when they know you have work early the next morning.

Date someone who will tell you all of the cute, funny, and embarrassing things that happened after you blacked out.

Date someone who will finish your drink when you don’t like the taste of it, but don’t want to waste it.

Date someone who will bring you back home, even when you want to stay out and keep partying, because they know it’s what “sober you” would’ve wanted them to do.

Date someone who will ask you if you want another drink instead of ordering it for you and pressuring you to chug it.

Date someone who will take drunken photos with you that you can laugh about the next morning.

Date someone who will help take care of your drunk friends as well as they take care of you when you get wasted.

Date someone who will lightly lecture you when you take one too many shots, because they’re genuinly concerned about your well-being.

Date someone who will cook you breakfast in the morning, complete with Gatorade and Advil, because they’re focused on making you feel better.