Dating Should Feel Natural, So Don’t Force It


In the past few months of dating different women, I’ve come to realize something that I didn’t quite understand in previous relationships. The experience needs to feel as natural as possible.

I’ve stumbled through a number of awkward first kisses and weird touching of hands and arms. But it wasn’t until recently, that I discovered how natural such milestones should feel in order to be meaningful.

I’ve been dating one particular woman for a few weeks now. And the pace in which the relationship is moving has been kind of perfect.

Last night we went to our first movie together. As we were watching the movie, all I wanted to do was be near her. It’s not easy to cuddle in a movie theater. Aside from the fact that it’s a public setting, the seats are not always conducive to such things. Nevertheless, I wanted to put my hand on her leg, but I wasn’t sure about how this would be received by her. In our 3 weeks of dating, our touching has only consisted of hugging, holding hands, and light kissing.

As mentioned, I am learning to value a natural progression in dating. And in this experience, everything has felt natural. The first holding of hands and the first kiss, all happened in a way that was unforced. To me, this would be no different.

So after she put her head on my shoulder for the second time of the evening, I naturally put my right hand on her leg. Once I did this, she almost immediately leaned in closer, and reached for my left hand and held it for the remainder of the movie. It was sweet.

Conclusion: nothing about dating should feel forced. Chemistry between two people who are interested in one another is a beautiful thing. It’s easy to feel like the relationship should move at a predetermined pace. But in reality, it depends on the situation. What matters is that two people are comfortable with how things are moving along.