Does Choosing To Be Single Equate To Selfishness?

I am 30 years old and single.  I’m petite and pretty and have a decent personality.  I have lots of friends – and I mean lots!  This might have something to do with living in the same urban setting my whole life.  I have a graduate degree, have a decent job and live in a gorgeous apartment in the heart of the city.  I love my independence.  Life is good.

So why is it that the first question people always ask me is “Are you dating anyone?” and when I say “no”, their immediate response is “oh don’t worry, the right guy will come along”.  My usual response to this is to smile and nod and walk away.  But I always wonder –What makes people think that I’m waiting for someone?  I think every relationship has compromises and sacrifices that must be made and I don’t want to make them.

Why is it expected that every person out there must be in a relationship or looking to be in a relationship?  Is it unfathomable to believe that some people just want to be single and are happy being single?  Of course there are times when it would be nice to come home to someone but those thoughts are few and far between.  Most times when I get home from work and open the door to my gorgeous apartment, I breathe a sigh of relief at the silence, the cleanliness and the anticipation that the entire rest of my evening is mine.  I don’t have to make concessions to be with someone else, I don’t have to bathe, feed and clothe my babies and I don’t have to clean up after anyone but myself.  I get to slip into some comfy pants, sit on my couch and watch Judge Judy.  OR I can decide to put on some workout clothes and hit the gym.  OR I can decide to call some friends up and go see a movie.  My point is. My life is mine to do with as I please and I don’t think I should be judged for having or wanting this single life.

I’ve heard many times that I live a selfish life.  What makes this different than any other life?  People choose to have children for many reasons– pass on their genes, give their parents grandkids, fulfill a void in their lives – are these selfish reasons?  People want to get promoted so they can buy nice cars or provide for their family – is this selfish?  I want to live a single life because I value my freedom and independence.  I do not believe this is selfish and I think the world needs to realize that different people want different experiences in life. I’m happy being with me!  I’m happy with the life I have and with the decisions that I have made.  Life is beautiful.