Don’t Ask Someone How They Are If You Don’t Want An Honest Answer

Maybe I am bad at adulting or maybe I just don’t care to come off as a put together person. As soon someone asks me how I am doing, I tend to say what’s really going on in my mind instead of saying the appropriate, “Good, and how about you?” It’s exhausting and just a part that we are playing in a game where honest emotions are unnecessary, even though sometimes all you need is a vent or a heart-to-heart.

When you don’t follow the proper protocol of “How are you?” and “Fine, thank you,” you are looked upon with raised eyebrows and suspicious looks, as if you have just committed a crime. Asking how someone is doing doesn’t give you the privilege to act in a certain way or expect a certain answer that won’t make you uncomfortable or unprepared.

Don’t ask someone how they are doing and then expect them to say, “Good.” Because surprisingly, some people do have bad days every now and then or have constant anxiety attacks from just going outside and trying to live a normal life. Pointing out why the automatic ‘’Good, and you?’’ is not followed up just put even more pressure on those who already try their best to move through the day.

But no, we keep asking questions that we aren’t really interested in. And when those answers don’t align with what we had in mind, we become tunnel-visioned in our actions, too. Instead of showing compassion or concern, we feel offended that someone has the nerve to not follow the protocol to keep the situation comfortable. We keep asking questions to fill in the silences instead of giving those silences the same importance as idle chatter. We focus on how we come across instead of allowing each other to show our own honest emotions by not acting like an asshole about it.

Life is like a color palette. We experience all kinds of different emotions like endless color combinations. When we only focus on the bright colors and ignore the darker ones, how do we bring balance and contrast into a painting, and in this case, life? We all have lesser days, but why is it such a big deal when that has been brought to light in the presence of others, especially when they asked for it?

In the end, we fail to connect as humans and just continue to play along in a play where everyone always needs to feel good, be good and look good.